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I'm new to this board and i guess im here mainly to vent rather to really ask questions but id take any advice given.


I was with my ex-girlfriend for about year. We both were madly in love with each other in every way. We planned for the future together such as moving in together it was something she seemed to want more initially then i did. So when that time came it didnt happen. One month later she gives me a call from work week of our one year aniversary she says we need to talk she needed a break. I asked her why she needed a break, she stated that she is really confused about her life and didnt want to turn into her mother (i gues living for her man and no one else kinda ordeal). So i was frustrated and hurt because it was such a shocker on me that i really couldnt understand how someone could be so in love then have a change of heart so fast. So we try to talk and it would just get worse mainly because i would get frustrated about things i guess because i was hurt. She stated how she didnt feel like her self anymore and that she lost her identity in our relationship. Yet everytime we start to fully break it off no contact with each other some how we end up talking to each other again. I fully feel shes not being honest with me and i try to allow her to come clean no matter what. I ask her if she is seeing someone else she says no there isnt anyone else in her life, but i see her being out all the time now with friends and sometimes she doesnt come home even the days where she has to be at work in the morning, most of the time she says shes stayed at her best friends but something doesnt seem right. Meanwhile she has me be in her life still and i wish she would be fully honest with me everytime i feel as ok there is no chance for us to get back together she gives me little signs that would say there is.

The other night she was out with her bestfriend and she txt me saying how she drank so much dont know if she can drive. I said if she wanted me to come pick her up shE said she was fine but she would respond to her phone calls afterwards or txt so i got worried and i went down there waiting for her in my car. She walked out with her bestfriend and some other guys they were talking what not. As she was about to drive i went up to her saying whats up i was worried about u and who were those guys she says ohh they are friends of her bestfriend. Her best friend is telling me there isnt nothing between those guys and her and that she has been talking about me all the time about how she misses me and how she loves me.

So my dilemma is i guess finding the truth because what my gut tells me and what she is telling me are too different things, I ask her to come clean if she is with someone else but she always denies it. So i brought it to her attention about that night yesterday and she stated how she does talk about me and she says she wishes she could fall back in love with me, but yet she doesnt want to get back together. So what im really trying to say is i want to make things work with her but only if shes not seeing someone else otherwise i want to know so i can move on, because i to me the only logical reason why she is acting that way is because she is torn between 2 people me and someone else. People tell me i should just move on and they are right but its so difficult i find my self always going back or calling or wanting to work it out. This breakup has definatly hit me harder then any in the past i feel alone and hurt beyond belief. I try to make new friends and start dating hope it would get my mind off of what keeps me going back to her but ive been unsuccessful with it for about a month and half now since the breakup. I wish i could just move on because i think it would be best for me i know i dont need someone to string me along until they find someone else and fully break it off with me and im left with a deeper pain. I guess what is hurting me the most is the rejection to someone that i invested all my heart to and the feeling of being alone and thats what affects me the most.

As i said before should i move on even if shes telling the truth? or should i wait and find out the truth before i decide to move on? I would also take any feedback from my situation would be greatly appreciate it. Sorry for going on and on its just been hard and i needed some venting i guess.