Single Mom Growing up as the youngest of nine kids I saw a lot of boyfriends pass through the "turnstile" at our front door over the years. So, eventually I inherited a sonar esque type of radar when it came to potential mates for my older siblings. The "keepers" would almost always be determined by virtue of how they responded to me, the baby of the family. Children much like dogs, can smell fear, amongst other things, and no matter what age they are, a kid can always tell if an adult is on the level. So, in my youth I was much like a human reconnaissance mission. With one fly by, I could instantly assess any danger, the validity of the mission and weed out potential enemies. Above all, I could determine if they should "fly into battle" with the guy based on my gut instinct.
Twenty five odd years later, I try to apply this same logic while dating as a single parent. But my criteria have now become two fold. I need the stability of a good co pilot but I also want "him" to have a similar lifestyle and sensibility at this stage of the game. Basically I'm looking for someone who will take out my recycler and make me laugh so hard milk comes out of my nose. A tall order, I know. So, because I can't and won't introduce my son to any "gentleman callers" right off the bat, and I have no access to that kid sonar detector, I have to rely on my own set of rusty tools. So, I came up with the two following questions that I ask myself each time a potential "keeper" comes into my life. |