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Not a proud moment but insight would be nice. I know I am stupid, but as it has been said before love makes the most sane man act insane. So here's me acting like a fool!

I recently broke up with my girlfriend of two years or rather she broke up with me. I was doing the thing which was working well for me and I could feel myself getting better. I won’t like in the back of my head I did want her to come back but of course there are a lot of issues to resolve there between both of us otherwise we wouldn’t of broken up. I think a lot of it has to do with taking each other for granted and it happens.

Anyway there was this party at one of my friends places that we were both invited to and she e-mailed me Thursday to help her with a school problem I did offer my help via e-mail. Then she asked if I minded if she came to the party. To which I said “to be honest I would rather you not come I am sure you understand”.

Fast forward to Friday, I am at the party and she shows up with a friend. So of course this gives me anxiety but I have some drinks to take the edge off and she and I actually talk quite amicably and jovially. I tried to keep it light and away from our relationship. In any case seeing her brought up a lot of emotions and feelings in me so at the end I asked if we could talk and she said sure but tomorrow because she was tired….this is where I start spinning out of control. I have it fixed in my head that I want to talk am being emotional. So I go home and then decide it would be “genius” of me to go to her place at 3am to talk to her. I know I know I am an idiot. So I start driving over there and get into a car accident, so know I am more worked up and just need to see someone. None of my friends answer so I end up going down to her place anyway, maybe I was thinking she would comfort me. Boy was I wrong. So I get there and of course its late. So being the idiot that I am I crawl through the dog door cause she has told me she has done that in the past. I wish she hadn’t said it as I wouldn’t of thought to do it. Anyway so I called her a bunch of times(her phone was off she always turns it off, of course I am not thinking rationally) to get in so when I finally get in, she is PISSED off at me and in hindsight I can’t blame her. So this is completely abnormal behavior for me, but now I guess she thinks I am psychotic, well at least that act.

Does this ever go away, I mean will she ever remember just the good things?

anyway we talked on the phone the next day and she is still pissed, listing all my faults, how I didn’t buy her drinks one night when I bought everyone else, how I over thing things and she is impulsive, that my friends don’t want us to get back together(not true), and that her father doesn’t want us to get back together(which makes me think she talked to him about us getting back together, otherwise why would he of said it?) when we were talking about kids she yelled, I don’t want your kids. I mean it was rough.

So we are obviously not talking, I realized I have pushed her away, but I was fine until I saw her, it was like this trigger.

So I am going to do the NC thing now and stick to it, do relationships or things ever recover when they get this bad or am I doomed. I realize I need to get me back but do things ever get bad with couples at the end like this and given time do they recover?

Your insight is welcome. Talk about taking some steps backwards.

That sounds pretty comical actually. I think relationships can recover from one silly incident like that, however I am not concerned about the rest of the background. I think that it just doesn't sound like things would work out between you two.

That is breaking and entering! anyways, what led to the initial breakup in the first place? I think that can help us give you advice.

Listen mate, we all do silly things post break-up.. it's the law too isn't it?!

Anyway, lesson learnt.You won't be doing anything silly again in a hurry will you.

What's done is done, don't worry about it.

NC is a great idea as if no contact you can do no wrong or climb through any further dog doors that take your fancy.

Seriously things will be fine and NC is your friend so use it wisely.

Thats' really funny, I'm not laughing at you at all, but picturing it made me smile and I think someday you will look back and laugh too!!!
Don't worry youre not the only one who's done crazy stuff. I can remember alot of dumb things I've done.
Love really can make you insane sometimes. Don't be so hard on yourself, it's ok.

I know in time I will laugh at this. I just feel like a complete dumba$$ right now. We broke up because she was in a hurry to get married and have kids and I told her I wanted to marry her but to me two years is the time when you start worrying about those things. She pushed from the beggining wish made me push back.

Once we got to a point where we discussed kids and I said i wasn't sure and she said she wants me to lover her enough to want kids and I do love her. But i did say maybe we get to the point where we say we love each other enough to let each other go. Keep in mind when we first met she didn't want kids. So it was a lot of thinking but I did thinik she was right when I said I would regret it. She said "you know what I am putting too much pressure on this situation and worrying about hte future, what if i can' thave kids and I lose the best thing ever". She then said whatever happens happens and we agreed.

From that point on it seemed like theres was less pressure and things were going well. Then her best friend died in April and since I was going to Germany for a month for work she planned a trip to go to Italy for three months as she was now working part time and was going to start MBA school in August. When she first got there she was lonely and we would talk all the time, then after six weeks she met some new people and was going out all the time. When I went o visit her she kind of put me on the back burner and put her new friends first and I told her this and that it bothered me. But she does like to be liked and be the center of attention, plus it was a disratction from her friend dying. So she felt like she was this new person and was saying how she can't be herself in the relationship. I am the least controlling person, I encouraged her to go to Italy, I encouraged her to get her MBA. I am very supportive.

Anyway it seems that Italy was the beggining of the end, but I kept telling ehr that, that wasnt reality yes a relationship gets monotonous after two years, you can't compare that to being on vacation for 3 months. So I guess she's growing and we grew apart at that point. Now she throws the whole kid thing in my face. I told her I do want kids with her, in reality she will be a fantastic mother. So I want ot have kids with the right person not for the sake of it. So anyway this came to a head and we broke up, err she broke up with me. She also says were fundamentally different, she goes with her gut, while I analyze things before I make a decision. personally I thought the balance was nice. I will also say this many people have commented prior to her going to Italy that we were a really good couple. All couples have their faults though. I guess I seem lost, I was doing the NC thing until she contact me, so I woudl talk but seeing her just brought all my emotions up and I made a bad decsions in the heat of the moment which was excerbated by the accident. I am not proud of it, so yes I have been beating myself up over it.

Look I have gotten down on my knees and begged, I have literally puked in front of him cause I was so upset etc etc. feels so pathetic and like you have no dignity. but at that split moment you really are temporarily insane.
Especially if you are normally an emotional person.

I wasn't drunk I was emotional. I realize it hurts my chances and I know we aren't getting back together any time soon if ever. I just wondered if people who have done stupid things like this ever get a second chance. She wasn't scared she was just pissed. So yes I did something I seriously regret but I can't take it back and anyone will tell you its completely out of character for me.

Ok I laughed too. If it's any consolation, you lightened the moment for a bunch of us here going through bad break ups of our own.

This is what you need to do. You send her some flowers and a card with a short message that you know you acted irrationally, you're sorry, and you understand that she's upset with you. That you're going to give her some space for herself to cool down.

And that's it. No more calls or contact for at least two weeks. I don't think she hates you but she's obviously emotional and angry so she probably needs some time to forget how mad she is with you. You send the flowers to show that you're truly sorry and want to make the effort to apologize, and also so she knows you're not ignoring her when you break contact.

I don't know if you'll get back together or if she'll give you another chance but you can bet your boots it won't happen if she keeps on wallowing in her foul mood.

To be honest, if my ex crawled through my dog door, I would be seriously scared and angry.

You've probably hurt your chances of getting back together with her heavily. She'd only find humour in the sitch if you got back together, but right now you're the guy who got drunk and broke into her house.