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I've seen countless threads about girlfriends/wives/significant others getting upset that they are watching porn, masturbating to porn, whether it's online or on DVD or on tv or getting jealous of pornstars because of their attractiveness. I worked at a porn shop for 3 years. My first girlfriend knew I worked at one and she knew I watched it and sometimes we watched it together. Can someone help me understand why porn is such a huge issue in a relationship? I know quite a few women who love watching porn. Anyway, enlighten me please. Thanks

don't know why its so much dirt in a world now
i mean its not beautiful
you just getting so low to your natural instincts
and its free and too much and everybody s doing it
i think it ruins romantic atmosphere.
well,i m not too against
but it became too much..and so available.
and no imagination,and experience things yourself
i don't know,
confused..
i hate it

There are a lot of women out there who are threatened by the idea of pornography, they dont understand why guys like it or that guys watch it. Predominantly they have had little if any exposure to it and probably only in a negative context. Pornography can present a multitude of issues that are already present within the girl but pornography gives them a reason to manifest it.

I have been through two very difficult relationships. My first Boy Friend was addicted to porn, to the point where he would be more interested in the porn than me. As you can imagine, this made me feel like Completely unattractive, as I was competing with a completely flawless, false image of what it means to "make love" to someone you so care about. He would always want me to do things like the girls in his videos did things that would make me very uncomfortable.

My second boyfriend's addiction escalated to child porn. Obviously, he got into trouble with the law.

Both were surprises both were dishonest about it. Both had negative effects on my self image/esteem.

I don't think I'll ever accept it in a relationship now. And that's okay. There's someone out there (hopefully) who will spare me that nasty habit in a future relationship

I'll just put in my two cents' worth here.I quite frankly NEVER had so much fun before, as I have since learning to appreciate porn with my partner. I think women are threatened because of their lack of understanding of the male psyche. It is a completely foreign concept for most females that a man can be looking at an image, and yet not be comparing that image to her, or desiring the intimacies of a relationship with her.

They also significantly underestimate the power of helping him get off to porn.

Mg, it's not so much the porn it's the issues that come with it.

And when we hear things like, well, when I'm with my girl, I think of that porn chic that is so hot. This can not only make the hottest of girls paranoid of their body but it makes you wonder why your man isn't thinking of you when your having sex. Does that make sense? I mean, put yourself in these shoes for awhile.
What if your wife/girl friend wanted to watch porn and use her toy to get off instead of having sex with you. And was only giving it to you like once a month.
Next, how would you feel if you found out she was thinking of some hot man while having sex with you and the thought of your face never enters her mind.
And the lies. Lying causes so much mistrust in a relationship. When they lie and say they don't look at it but you find tons of it on the computer. What would you think? You may think, well, if they are lying about this, what else are they lying about and covering up.
Like in this thread

I also know of guys who look at porn but would be extremely bothered if they knew their girls were doing the same. It's about respecting each others feelings. Priorities. Is it really that important? If you're both for it than GREAT! Have fun! But I've just been through so much in my relationships. I can't stand it.

Doyathink, I completely agree with you. I also think that if you are in a healthy relationship, there should be no "need" for pornography. And if your SO knew that it would hurt you to look than he wouldn't, and shouldn't. It shouldn't be that important to him to look despite your feelings about porn.

I agree with you, but we're a rare few here.
I've had it happen. He felt too much 'pressure' to please me, so he resorted to porn so he just got himself off. I didn't think I ever put this pressure on him to please me he did that in his own mind. Maybe he felt inadequate but he wasn't in my mind.

Porn ruins everything.
It's all fake. Completely fake. And mostly steriotypical

The porn makes people believe the following

- African Americans are hung over like horses
- White people are small
- same with asians
- The girls fakeing orgasms and such
- Black girls typically have butts that are big enough to cover the sun

It's all fakeeee, so why watch it.