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We have been dating for 5 years. Before me, she was a virgin.

When we started to have sex, we would do it 2x/week. No more, no less. It was pretty consistent. The second year it was pretty much the same also, MAYBE a bit less. We'll say 1x/week. The third year it was probably once every 2 weeks. The fourth year it went down to once/month. Now it's at once every 6 weeks.

Side note...she has told me that the only reason she had sex with me that frequently was because she liked me a lot and was afraid I would dump her if she didn't give me sex, which was a deceptive thing for her to do.

Keep this in mind: she does NOT let me finger her or give her oral sex. She claims she thinks the ONLY thing that should be in a vagina is a penis...never a mouth or finger.

Also, she will ONLY have sex Missionary (95 percent of the time) and her on top (5 percent of the time). Any other position she won't do.

She has always claimed that she does not "enjoy" sex and that it does not "feel good" for her, but she does it because it makes me happy. Now, we're at the point (every 6 weeks) that the only way I am getting sex is if I nag her about it. It's pathetic, I know, but I'm a guy, and my girlfriend (to me) is sexy as hell.

She knows I am in love with her (I tell her, she tells me), she knows I think she is funny, smart, sweet, caring. She knows I think she has an incredible body and adorable face. I don't overdo the compliments...but I don't underdo them either. I make more personality comments than I do body/face comments.

I've asked her to see a sex therapist and/or to see if her doctor could check her for low sex drive. She won't do either because she says I should "love her for who she is." I think it may have to do with the fact that she is a vegetarian, though I don't know.

No she was not molested as a child, yes I'm sure.(for people who will insist she was abused). If you still are going to say this, please play the devil's advocate and assume she wasn't just for this conversation.

But, I'm at the point where I'm sexually frustrated. I love her and I love being with her. I AM ready to propose to this woman. But, if the rest of my life is going to be sex once every 6 weeks, I don't know if I can handle that.

She says she is sexually attracted to me. She says I have a sexy body, cute face, etc. So I don't understand.

She also claimed when we move in together that we will have sex more than we do now. But how can I assume that? What if we don't? At that point, I'll already have had a wedding and house. I've heard that the sex goes down during marriage, not up. And in this case, she's not even willing to see anyone about it.

What can I do? I've had more conversations that I can imagine to try to figure out why she doesn't like sex. I've offered to lick EVERY crevice of her body to find a hot spot, offered to pay for therapy, etc. I'm out of options, and I'm out of patience. I wonder to myself why at the end of every night I have to masturbate when I have a gorgeous girlfriend who could give me the best orgasms in the world? She's like a sex mirage.

Why will this woman not have sex with me without me nagging for it?

She probably has some sort of shame complex connected with sex that isn't within the bounds of a marriage, I'd guess. Was she raised in a religious/conservative enviroment? DId she know any religious people growing up?

You are nagging for sex and you aren't even married yet?

Sex is really important in a relationship - especially as the relationship matures. People have different sexual needs and there's nothing wrong with her - she is who she is. And there's nothing wrong with you either.

Don't expect her to change. Don't expect you to change.

Now ask yourself if you will be happy forever this way in marriage. Be honest with the answer before you pop "the question".

Do you kiss? It sounds stupid, but i mean full on long kisses?

I thought i had a low sex drive with my ex...but there was no intimacy there,in his mind there was "wow i got horney" and i was ment to be just because he wanted sex. No build up nothing no kisses just "right i want sex coz i feel like it". And i hated it. And he could not for the life of him work out why!

Now I reilise there was nothing wrong on my part because I could jump on my new boyfriend just thinking of his kisses! grrr! Haha.

Us girls need lots of build up, baths together, hugs, kisses, random kisses on your back at 3am! And theres no denying after 5years you do become lazy with the simple things that but it does really matter.

you've offered to do all kinds of things to make her feel good and get her turned on.

you've asked her to seek counseling and work on this issue.

what else can you do? she says she does it to make you happy, but she doesn't really if it's only every 6 weeks and even then you have to nag her.

are other things in your relationship going well?

she clearly doesn't see the lack of sex as a problem - i guess because it isn't something she needs or something she sees as an essential part of a relationship. but the reality is, it is for you, right? is this something you can live with? i honestly don't think the amount of sex will increase just because you get married.

i guess it needs to be something she wants to work on because she realizes that it is important to you and a need of yours in a relationship. so far it doesn't sound like she's been willing to make an effort to change things in that area and i don't think they will change unless she decides she wants to try.

Or more to the point, why will this woman not tell you why she won't have sex with you? That is the key question to me. Yes, she may have a low libido, or some psychological issue that makes sex unpleasant for her. It's entirely possible. But in that case, why won't she tell you? Does it seem as though she doesn't enjoy it (even purely physically) on the occasions when she is willing to do it? Pride/ego aside, do you believe her when she says she is sexually attracted to you? How does she reconcile sexual attraction and not enjoying sex? Does she have any alternative ways of expressing that sexual attraction?

Just a few of the questions I'd be asking her, and I'm sure you've asked her as well.

Only chance that something will change is her to see therapist. She has some deeper thoughts about sex which are maybe shameful, associated with feeling quilt, or just dirty or fear of pain so you can give it a try by asking her to seek help.