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  #1 (permalink)  
Old 11-05-2007, 02:37 PM
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Default 5 tips for getting back Together

Be Strong

There is an old saying that “no one needs the needy” and it applies itself well to broken relationships. Begging, clinging, and desperate behavior is much more likely to repel your lost love rather than attract them. Not only is it important to prove to the world that you can perceiver in the toughest of times, but you also need to prove it to yourself. While no one is claiming that breakups are easy, keep the yelling and crying behind closed doors.

Minimize Contact

Closing the doors of communication may seem counter opposite to rebuilding a failed relationship, but it is one of the most important steps. There is a reason that things have made it to this point, and it is obvious that someone needs a break. Allowing time for reflection and thought is the best way to evaluate your relationship. This also gives your Ex time to clear their mind. It could be that some time away will remind them of how valuable your relationship was.

Be Flexible

This is not the time to start issuing mandates like “pick up your things by Monday or else”. You are wrong if you think that you can scare someone into returning. Remember that your Ex left you because they were unsatisfied with some facet of your relationship. This means it is time to become the listener and sympathizer. This does not mean you have to concede to their every demand (see Stay Strong), but you will probably have to meet beyond halfway when rebuilding the bridge of communication.

Get Out

This is no time to be alone. Call your old friends and get out of the house. You need to develop other forms of entertainment in your life. This does not mean you have to date, or even look at the opposite sex (although who knows?). It simply means you need to occupy yourself and learn to develop a self-realization of who you are. Getting out will also be helpful for when you get back with your Ex. Your conversations will be spurred along by some of the new stories you have to tell.

Be Yourself

There was a reason that you and your Ex were initially attracted to each other, and this was because you are a unique person. Think of what made these first weeks or months so special, and try to identify what has changed. Sometimes relationships can become monotonous and you can forget what it was that made both of you compatible. Learn to accentuate your qualities and strive to be the real person you are. This renewed self-perception of yourself will rub off on everyone around you.
It is not easy to win back the love of your life, but it can be done. Determination and consistency are the most essential qualities needed to be successful. The basic strategies above will get you started on your quest, but it is important to continue to adapt to the situation. If you truly love your Ex, then you need to do everything in your power to prove yourself. For more resources, please visit my sig.
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Old 11-05-2007, 02:38 PM
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How are you? I like your post there loads of stuff on here like that. It always makes me smile. Ex are strange i will never work them out. I only know this over past 5 years, ex wife and girlfriend all came back after what you wrote. it took about 9 months on each and 7 months of NC. At this moment my heads mass with last one. She got a new boy friend i feel i've been cloned.
i've just got to let go its so so hard.
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Old 11-05-2007, 02:39 PM
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i know how you feel. Although, I want to rekindle and reconnect with my ex she is already dating someone else. It is difficult for them to think about you when someone has already replaced you.
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Old 11-05-2007, 02:39 PM
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I have other articles I wrote about this topics.

I 'll post them later if people like them.

I remember how bad I feel when I lost my love. But is really possible to get her back. At least I did it.

With some help, but I success ed.

hope everyone could get back with his love again!
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Old 11-05-2007, 02:40 PM
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I think clinging to hope often increases suffering when things end.
I've seen really strong and determined people ruined by the fantasy of reconciliation when letting go would save their sanity.
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Old 11-05-2007, 02:41 PM
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Very nice post and I agree this method works coz I've done it before but not with the intentions of getting back together. I think this 5 step can also be used to come into understanding with yourself that a relationship is over and move on. Its a healthy way .
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Old 11-05-2007, 02:42 PM
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And I do agree with the others that you can't hold onto false hopes (I had a 1 1/2 year running thread "Am I holding onto false hopes?").

But the point you make here is that these 5 tips are not just applicable to getting your ex back, they are really the necessary steps to get "yourself" back. That's right, yourself!

If, after you forge through all of the life changes in the 5 steps, your ex does not come back guess what? You will actually be OK with it! Why? Because you have become one with yourself; learned to love yourself; learned that you don't NEED a partner, you want a partner. So, if the ex says "thanks", but "no thanks", you WILL NOT be devastated, because you will be a stronger, happier, more confident person.

My bet is that the majority of people, after truly following these 5 steps, would NOT want their ex back!
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Old 11-05-2007, 02:43 PM
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Ok what if there were really bad problems that hurt and changed the other person, but they still love you? Does anyone think love is strong enough to conquer allot of bad? or is it time that heals? I'm so lost Don't know what to think.
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Old 11-05-2007, 02:44 PM
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I have a tip from experience, and after reading thousands of posts and scenarios here, avoid like the plague. It seems to be the most common problem here on mozunk, greater than cheating, falling out of love, etc, with few exceptions, when people move far apart geographically, they should either make definite plans to be closer together or end it and move on.
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Old 11-05-2007, 02:44 PM
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Like it was mentioned earlier one of two things have to occur. Break it off or move closer together. After we broke up I told her I would move to be with her. i told her i loved her and i don't want to ever wonder what if? I told her I would pack my bags with in a few days and be closer to her. She just said she loves me so much and that i am one of the most important people in her life BUT it just does not feel right? to this day I am not quite sure what it does not feel right means?
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