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my ex recently made contact with me after our 4 1/2 year relationship ended nearly 7 months ago. We met at a dog park with our dogs and had dinner and a long cry later that evening. It seems to me that we still love each other very much. The problem is that the reason why we broke up was because he is SO scared of a marriage ending in divorce as his parents' did horribly when he was younger. I dont' know what to say or do to help him with this fear. I know nothing is guaranteed and no one plans on divorcing when they get married, but is there something I can say or do to help?!!

yes, you say 'if you fear divorce and dont want it, then dont let it happen" its seriously that simple. if you dont want to divorce, then dont do it! learn about the opposite sex. learn about what marriage entails. learn about communicating with your signif other. learn about unconditional love. learn about selflessness. that is what marriage is made of.
you tell him how many books and counseling courses are offered for those considering marriage and who want to start laying the foundation for a lifetime of togetherness. you dont have to be engaged to go to pre marital counseling. i go right now and im single after my ex left me. i want to be prepared for marriage when it does come.

when you're nervous of something happening because of trauma, you do everything within your power to learn how to not let it happen to you. and then you give up the fear.

I think more than anything what he needs is professional counseling to help him accept his parent's failed marriage and to not project that marriage onto every relationship he has from here on out.

You are right that there is no guarantee but treating every marriage as though it is doomed to fail is just setting it up for failure.

Hopefully he will get help, but if you want marriage I don't think this guy is the one for you.

Anything is possible as long as you two communicate!

I hope so. I may/may not be on the verge of getting back together with my ex for the 4th time. Although the last time I left, (2 weeks ago) was more of a HUGE row. he just doesn't know how to understand me but I think we're getting there i hope. we ove each other very much.
I think deep love is worth fighting for, especially if the only problems are learning to communicate. that can be sorted!

What is you situation Simons?

Totally depends on the reasons for the prior breakups and how well you two get along.

I'm not against trying to make things work as long as the right reasons are at work, just stay safe!

I guess clinging to hopes sometimes may be completely harmful, but what if you truly believe that a person is the real one? Is it wrong to try with your all strengths to get someone back? Is it wrong to fight and somehow wait even if the other person has someone already? Even if it failed before and more than once?

I don’t want to pull anyone into false hopes, but I truly believe that you should think hard before you really let go… or if you really want to wait and deal with the consequence Even if you wait, I guess you should always open your horizons and accept if someone new enters in your life. There’s always a “what if”.

Meanwhile, it’s time to improve yourself, read, exercise, know new people and places in the process, some may even discover that the one they really thought to be their soul mate, wasn’t after all.

Can you give any tips for persons in an and who's ex may be dating someone else?

To be honest I have been working on myself to move on but your post today on the "getting back together" just got me thinking. I do have to be proud of myself that I have not done any of the behaviours that you list as those that will push your ex further away. She broke it off and I sent one letter and that has been all of the contact we have had except for a few joke emails. Oh, she did offline me with a "how are you doing?" and "miss talking to you".

Thanks for the ear and keep doing the good work you are doing.

I couldn't tell -

are you happy that she thought of you? or wish she hadn't?

Personally I'd be touched if I was happy to hear from her I'd send a nice but short Thanks for thinking of me and see what happens.