online dating forum

Mozunk - Online Dating

Best Online Bingo

 

Go Back   online dating forum > Dating Etiquette > Relationship
Register FAQ Members List Calendar Search Today's Posts Mark Forums Read

Relationship Relationship between the dating partners

Reply

 

LinkBack Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 11-05-2007, 01:47 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 320
Default Has anyone sent a letter

Have any of you sent a letter after a period of NC saying all the things you should have said basically? How did it turn out?

I feel like for myself I need to do all that I can I want to let him know I've thought about the relationship and I can see what the problems were and how they can be fixed?
Reply With Quote
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 11-05-2007, 01:49 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 332
Default

I did it after a week of NC and got no response back. The breakup was very hard for both of us and although I don't REGRET sending the letter, I think it made things worse. It put too much pressure back on my ex. So I really don't think it's a good idea. Since then, I have completely avoided any talk about the relationship and did NC as best as I could .I've found it's really the best route right now.

If you still feel you need to write something, PLEASE DO and then keep it for a few days and think over it. My letter was quite emotional it really wasn't a good idea. I should have just written it and kept it to myself, rather than leaving it on his doorstep.

Hope that helps if you need more clarification read through some of the boards on here most people will advocate not sending letters/email if you want a chance to reconcile.
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 11-05-2007, 01:50 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 320
Default

Don't do it. I wrote a letter and gave it to him, only to find out that he ripped it up later.
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 11-05-2007, 01:50 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 332
Default

Letter's, emails, calls at 3 a.m. all amount to a mistake. It seldom if ever makes the ex come running back. That said, it will be helpful for you emotionally to write these things down. Do it, get all the feelings out. Then press delete or toss it in the trash. I can admit doing that will make you feel better.
Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 11-05-2007, 01:53 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 320
Default

I wrote my ex a letter a few weeks after our breakup. Not sure if she received it or read it but I felt better for sending it. She has since tried LC but I am holding strong and not responding. The purpose of my letter to my ex was to let her know what I was feeling not to try and get her back.

I say go for it if it makes you feel better.
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 11-05-2007, 01:54 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 320
Default

i don't plan on it being an overly emotional letter or anything, i just want to say where i think things went wrong and how they can be fixed. not begging him to come back or anything. i don't expect a reply and i wont be putting on any pressure.

i just feel like after 2 years and such a quick break up i have so much i need to say, for myself and for him. I'm going to wait till next week after 30 days NC so its not like i've been harassing him.

i think ill regret it if i don't. plus i have nothing to lose now anyway.
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 11-05-2007, 01:55 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 320
Default

If he's the type that you believe would actually read it and see where you're coming from, definitely send it. Good idea on not being too emotional too.
If you think he wouldn't care at this point and just be like "whatever" or even "tear it up" like mentioned above, by all means don't.
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 11-05-2007, 01:55 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 332
Default

i wrote my ex two letters after our breakup.
one was quickly after the breakup and he thanked me for it
and said it made him cry.

the second letter was a longer while after the breakup.
and i got zero response. none.
Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 11-05-2007, 01:55 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 320
Default

i tried this once, and all it did was alienate the person. i would not advise this. i know you feel like you have nothing to lose, but in the grand scheme of things, 30 days isn't that long after two years. give him his space and you will seem that much more appealing if, somehow, you do reconcile down the line. i would write it for your own therapeutic benefit, however. i've done that before and it was definitely helpful to air all of those pent up emotions. i didn't mail that one though.
Reply With Quote
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 11-05-2007, 01:56 PM
Senior Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 320
Default

I agree with the others that said to write it all out and let it be a cathartic measure.THEN, delete it.

DO NOT send anything. You need to get it all out, but how will you feel if he calls and tells you he never read it, get out of his life, or whatever.

It could put you back at square 1.

Writing my ex did nothing to get us back together and just made me feel even worse. It all turned out ok though, because I found the most wonderful woman in this world, now if I can only hide my true self, long enough.

I hope it all goes well with whatever you decide.
Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

vB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On



All times are GMT. The time now is 05:25 PM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.6.5
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.1.0
(c) Mozunk.com - Online Dating