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I used to get upset at him talking to this female friend of his almost everyday. He said that I am too insecure. Reason I got upset is I because I believed that if I wasn't in his life he would date her. I told him this and he said I was being ridiculous. So we broke up over that.

After the breakup he kinda dates her, more like had sex with her once. Then he came running back to me because he said that it wasn't the same with her and he realized that he loves me more than anyone.

So since they were friend before and most likely still want to talk to each other as she messages him and what not.

IS IT OK FOR ME TO ASK HIM NOT TO TALK TO HER ANYMORE? AM I BEING RIDICULOUS? NOT UNDERSTANDING??

OR SHOULD I LET HIM TALK TO HER AND WRITE HER OFF AS A NON THREAT SINCE HE RAN BACK TO ME?

There is a possibility that they didn't work out because she started seeing another guy right after she slept with him.

Hi There,

Well, I would not say that she is not a threat to you because even after he denied interest in her and said he'd never date her, he slept with her.

But you can't tell a partner what to do. You are not their parent and you don't get to call the shots.

What you can do is to talk to him and tell him that especially now that they have a dating and sexual history, you are not comfortable with them being friends. If he chooses to continue to talk to her and hang out with her, you have to decide whether or not this relationship is the right one for you.

Decide if you can handle the situation.
Ask him to consider how this makes you feel, and if he doesn't want to deal with it, leave.

difficult situation!

I'd ask if maybe they could have no contact for awhile especially for things to calm down a bit

Let him know how you feel & that you would like him to not talk to her, but don't demand don't give him a "her or me" type ultimatum. Don't think that he doesn't love you if he talks to her that's not the case I'm sure!

Tell him that considering the circumstances, and your issues with her, that you'd prefer he not contact her and if he agrees but you find a random email now and again, don't get super crazy upset & understand that he might not think it's a big deal.

I think you are being reasonable in your not wanting them to talk, but that's just my personal . I've kind of been in your shoes, so I can say that I would feel and do the same thing.

Your instinct told you something before, you were right and they eventually got together...they have sex once and he comes running back to you. I'm not so sure I'd be able to do that so more power to ya chick It doesn't make her a non-threat just because he came running back to YOU, remember that.

Whose to say he won't do that again? I'd keep a close eye on him. I'd lay out how you feel to him so that he knows.

This is just my point of view. The other replies have been totally different from mine. I just see it in a different light because I know what you are going through.

Be careful!

Thank you guys, your answers are great and very helpful. I have been thinking about this for a long time and didn't know what the right way to approach was. I agree with all of you and I am supposed to meet him and talk to him about this.

don't think you are being ridiculous. You are thinking here in reality. I would have a problem with them talking now, because first off he tried to make you believe that he had no type of feelings for her. Then when you two broke up, he went and decided to have sex with her and date her. That would have crushed me, because he tried to make you think you were the one losing your mind. Although, you two were broken up and can date and have sex with whomever you want, still he didn't keep things real when he should have.

No. You can not tell him what to do. But, you can state to him your misgivings about the situation. Being insecure, and being rational are two different things.

I personally would have a problem even getting back with him after sleeping with her despite making me seem like the crazy one.

I can relate to this situation also. I don't think you are being irrational for feeling the way you do. Although you two were apart, he still decided to have a relationship with a woman that he said he had no romantic feelings for. That would just crush me. How long were you two apart? Regardless of the answer I think that you have every right to feel the way you do. Now you really do have a reason to be insecure, although I think you are being totally rational. If you feel it comes to a point where you can't get past this, you'll have to ask yourself is he really worth it.

I bet if the situation were reversed he'd want the same from you. You two need to have a serious talk about the way you feel.

Right after we broke up he discovered that she was dating someone else so they didn't get together for months after that when she was single again. He was always talking to me through out this time until I started dating someone else.

That is when he said he slept with her because I was already with someone else. Funny thing is, after he slept with her he came to my house driving an hour away past midnight super sober to tell me that he misses me and that things are not the same with her, the cuddles, the movies and he can't stop thinking about me and asked me if I would give him another chance. He explained there was nothing between them emotionally. It was a one time physically thing.

Of course another reason could be that the girl was moving away to in 2 months.

My thing is why did he come back to me? must be because he really loved me and still couldn't get over me? He could've moved on to someone else as he is around many women.