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So I was reading a previously posted thread and someone had mentioned the fact that if you tell someone you are "waiting for them" you should put a time period on it.

Do you think that is true?


IMO, if the window is left open and there is possibility of getting back together you should put some kind of a time period on it.

In my case, my guy thinks the decision to settle down with someone and building up to marriage is a big decision and he wants to make sure hes making the right one. He would rather date around to make sure I am the right decison or on the other hand, not. I told him that ultimately, I want him to be the one but that I dont think it takes forever to make that decision and a year down the road I wont be in this same situation waiting for him.

Do you think you should say in 2 months, or in 1 year, or just say what i did like well I dont see myself single in a year so.

Thats what all my friends said. But then my Ex felt pressured so I didn't put a time scale on it.Look at me now , maybe it will work out in the long run I really don't know?

I think my case is similar to yours. My ex had a miscarriage the day before we split. She says it has nothing to do with it. Yet I cant help but imagine it has, has now she wants to be single and not "tied down".Think she got cold feet at the thought of TRUE commitment. I just pray one day she comes around to the thought of spending the rest of her life with me like she originally would tell me! Easier said then done!

I agree with what you are saying but i think it should be a time period, like you have to let them know that they cant keep you around forever.

I know it some peoples cases you just go NC but what about the relationships that have the door left open? You have to do something.

I just think you should let them know that you want them to be the one but there ARE other people out there that can take their place and right now you are willing to respect their need for space but you def wont be in this position days/months/years down the road. that way they will know that you are wanting to be with them but that if it takes too long you are gone.

I just don't think it takes forever for you to know if that person is right or not

I look at it this way. My ex wanted to see other people, so I will see other people. You should not have to wait for someone in the hopes they will come back.

If ever she does come back to me, even if 10 years down the road, if I happen to be single I would take her back. I would not expect the same type of relationship as people change, I would consider it a new relationship.
But waiting on someone that will only lead to hurt.

It's official: I'm a very, very old fashioned man. See, the very idea of "I'm james around for a while and then maybe marry you" is pretty much against everything I hold true about love, marriage and all that.

Sometimes I feel almost sorry for myself for not being religious. It would be easy then I would perhaps simply become a monk.

I'm too old fashioned in love too and it sucks. I don't believe in "playing the field", out of all my friends I hang around with (about 10ish) I'm the only guy to have never cheated on my girlfriend!! If you've found a person you know you can gladly spent the rest of your life with then why the hell ever give up? Yes you may find someone in the meanwhile, but until then fight the good fight, and if you have to wait.

i was trying to get out there, then decided i wanted her, and only her, so i cleaned up the rift raft i had around.

Deciding whether to marry a particular person is not about comparison shopping unless that person is the first person you ever have dated - and even then.... (meaning, high school sweethearts, each other's firsts, who decided to break up for college since they haven't been "out there" enough and perhaps will get back together down the road).

To me deciding whether to marry a particular person has nothing to do with testing out others to see if someone is "better" for you - it has to do with deciding whether you can live without the person and that can be done by no contact over a 3-6 month period to see (1) if you miss the person and (2) if you do, how much - can you live without the person in a manner of speaking? After a few weeks of NC often the missing is more about missing being in a relationship than missing the person - the test is to see when, if you return to your single life, and get re-integrated into it, you miss the person.

Contact her back, but tell her you are gonna fall apart from it. Tell her you will always care about her. Tell her at any given time she thinks about you, you have already thought about her ten times as long. Tell her it kills you too much, so she doesn't have to stay in contact. Tell her that it might take forever to heal, so a week wont do it, but thank her for being considerate.

Tell her how you feel, and that if she don't need you, then you don't need to be a part of her life.