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Me and my ex have been broken up for a little over a month now, and in low contact for the past two weeks. She's called me a few times during the lc, just to talk as friends, and has expressed that she thinks i'm acting differently, like I'm distant or don't want to talk to her. i havnt contacted her in the last two weeks so that's probably why. She's said she doesn't know if she wants to try again, she needs time to think about everything. Deep down I want her back so bad, but I feel like it's never going to happen. Just knowing that she's thinking about things is making it very VERY hard to move on. I feel like she could take another 6 months or a year to "think about things" and as long as she never tells me it's over for good, i'll never be able to move on. it's killing me. It's why i've gone into lc, partly because i'm trying to move on, and partly because i want to show her what its like to not have me anymore. I liked when she used to call, it let me know she was thinking about me. But now that she thinks i dont want to talk, she's stopped calling, and it's killing me. Just need some support and advice from people who've been there before. What should i do?

Stay the course. If she's going to come back, she'll do it on her own. She won't leave just because you are avoiding her. As you said yourself, she needs to know what it's like to not have you around.

Your post is the second one I have read about "low contact". What's the point?

I know it's not fair. It's fu cking bullsh!t. But I know I want her back, and if she'd just be like NO WAY ITS OVER GET LOST, then I'd suck it up and move on because at least I would know for sure. But she doesn't know right now, and its really hard for me to move on knowing that there is still a chance. I can't stand this, it's driving me crazy. I just want to be like make up your mind right now or I'm never speaking to you again, but I know that won't solve anything. It pretty much is no contact right now. I'm not contacting her. And right now at least, she's not contacting me because she's afraid I don't want to talk to her. But as far as actually telling her not to contact me anymore, I tried that, and i broke nc like 3 days later. i dont know if i can stick to it and it might just make things worse for me if I keep saying that and taking it back.

It will definitely make things worse. If you pick up the phone, you are being your own worst enemy. Don't let your emotions rule your actions.

From my own experience, when you go from there is a moment of panic and pain when you realize that you aren't going to hear from or talk with your ex perhaps ever again.

It's just part of the process until you get used to the idea but it's for the best.

In my last relationship I really tried to do the LC thing. It didn't work so well for me. Looking back, it only prolonged the pain I was feeling. I know thats not the same for everyone. I think the distance she has remarked about when talking with you is something you might have felt from her as well. It happens when two peoples lives aren't as intertwined as they once were. Its also one of the many hurts you expose yourself to as you remain in contact. One month isn't really a very long time to get completely comfortable with switching from a romantic relationship to a platonic one and that was a hard transition to make for me. I wanted her back as badly as I have ever wanted anything and by staying in contact with her I only learned more about her life after me than I needed to know. Waiting for her call hoping to see an email or text from her every time I checked them thats a hell I have created and lived and will do anything I can do to avoid in the future. I finally had enough after a conversation that centered mostly around what a great guy she had met. Maybe it won't go that way for you and of course I hope not, but as you continue with LC have your eyes wide open about what you are opening yourself up for.

You say you are in 'low contact?' Why not NO CONTACT?

You can't wait around for her for another six months or a year for her to decide she wants to be with you. That isn't fair.

Happiness comes from within. People dont make us happy. We make ourselves happy. To obsess after someone or something speaks volumes about the obsessor.

This enlightening fact is eventually realised by all who have dealt with the trauma of letting go of something they think they need. will make this process harder and longer.

When people mention low contact, how often are they referring to?
Im in touch with my ex once or twice a week, would that be classed at LC?

What I think sucks the most is that part of my ex's reasons for breaking up with me was because I'd broken up with her previously and she was worried about whether or not our relationship would survive long term. My tendency to push her away when we couldn't resolve our arguments scared her. So I feel like not talking to her is just reinforcing her fears. Is my situation unique at all? Should I be doing something differently? Or is NC still the way to go?