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Hypothetical quesiton. So I'm going NC all the way. Sometime down the road, if the ex were to come to the realization that breaking up was a mistake and she wants our relationship back, how willing should I be to let this happen?

Some backstory Our relationship was wonderful. A sleezy womanizer friend of hers had always been hitting on her. I guess she eventually caved into him and decided to hook up and go "on a break" with me, but decided not to mention that there was another guy until about a month down the road. During that month I was trying to find out why she wanted to break up so badly and she kept quiet until she finally said "there's nick someone else." After a series of arguments over the next few days, I haven't spoken to her since. It was only 10 days ago, but it seems like forever.

A big part of me definitely wants her back. A HUGE part of me to be honest, but my self-respect comes first. If she comes crawling back and I let her back in, am I setting myself up for failure?

And a quick question would anybody consider what she did cheating?

The way I'd look at it is if she wasn't embarrased by what she was doing on the 'break' she wouldn't have hidden it from you.

I bet she gave you some story about needing to 'grow away from eachother' or 'getting her head straight' while all she was trying to do is test the waters and see if the grass was greener on the other side (with this other guy). She purposely kept you in limbo in case she did want to go back to you, but at the point of the break she knew what she was going to do. She should have broken up with you, I would definately call this cheating as she wasn't ended with you.

Cake. Having. Eating. etc.

I'd be very very wary of taking her back, I don't think you should but I'm not you and I don't know the ins and outs of your relationship.

Only thing I'd say is that she's obviously disrespected your relationship by putting it on hold for a fling, she's disrespected you by lying to you about the reasons behind her break, and she's disrespected herself by being seduced by another man.

So yeah, I'd never take her back.
Good luck man.

Knowing that you know that she is with someone else and she took a ‘break’ from you for this reason, and ‘if’ she does come back with all the sorry’s in the world and is sincere about her mistake for leaving you; just make sure you can trust her, and that you trust yourself that u want her back. ‘Commitment & Trust issues’ speak volumes here!

Sometimes I wonder if their expectation having a ‘break’ or ‘space’ away from us is really worth it, if they met someone else during the relationship and wanted to test the waters, or got on with some else after they walked away, or they genuinely needed time alone.

At the end, she showed cowardliness in committing to a relationship and being honest with you and herself. Its really sad, especially when she had caved into the arms of someone else who u have described as a 'A sleezy womanizer' , and didn’t tell u a month later that her REAL reason for wanting a ‘break’ away from u was that reason ANOTHER MAN!

Thanks for the advice. I'm pretty sure I can't trust her, but I'm wondering about this because she's studying abroad at the moment, (She told me about the 'break' the day before leaving, isn't that classy?) and will be back in January. It's hard for her to really feel that I'm gone now, but it might hit her like a brick wall when she's been back for a little while. She said herself that she can't be alone, but she'll be living alone for the first time, without me to hang around with. That sucks for her because she doesn't have many friends and I filled a lot of that void for her. Plus, this new guy doesn't even live in the same state! Looking at the whole situation, it's hard not to feel used every time I talk to her, so I'll avoid her completely. If she wants to have "talk" about anything sometime down the road, I'll have to remind her that she's not good enough for me.