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I got back together with my ex, Rex, in May, after 92 days of strict NC, and 100+ days of having "broken up" with him. This was after he announced to me while I was at work, via IM, that he planned to start sleeping with someone he'd been seeing. Hey, he's an honorable guy: he promised to tell me if he planned to start sleeping with someone, and he did tell me.

After being back with him since May, during a time when things felt different, the invisible barrier was gone (most of the time), I started getting upset because he'd excluded me from a weekend when he had a couple visiting him . Two weeks after the event I learned he had a party at his house during their visit. So I broke up with him on Tuesday. Ignored his IMs and text message for two days. Talked to him via IM on Friday: Told him I needed to stop seeing him and talking to him for a while. Told him I didn't want to be his friend.

Now here's where it really gets good.

By about noon on Saturday, I called him, crying, saying I don't want to do what I *should* do, I want to do what I want to do. He ignored my call for several hours. I called back again at 4:00. Basically started begging him to see me. Later that night, right before I went to his house, we had a long conversation. I just woke up after four hours, in his bed, having a bad dream "for some reason." In my sleeplessness, I've written down the following so I can't forget or sugarcoat what he told me, most emphatically, so I would be clear about his feelings / intentions for me.

Your post is really confused. But what you do recognize clearly is that he doesn't love you and is just using you. He is being perfectly upfront about this with you, so yes, you are abusing yourself by staying with him.

Do you expect him to change his mind? Because HE WON'T. You can't love him 'enough' to change him. The fact that he has told you the score and you are still willing to make yourself available to him sexually will degrade you even more in his eyes. What a stud he must feel.

As SRufus says, get out now.

Spare yourself worse hurt down the line, because worse hurt is coming, and when it does, he will turn around and say to you 'I was honest with you from the beginning, I never lied to you about how things are'. So the self-blame will be even worse.

Don't degrade yourself emotionally and sexually any more for this person.

If someone rejects you, don't let them use you.

Call some close friends or family, and have them straitjacket you if necessary, to keep you away from this guy. He is an addiction that you need to kick. Get yourself a copy of Robin Norwood's 'Women who Love too Much' and read it. Ask yourself why you are wasting your life on someone who doesn't love or respect you.

This man is seriously damaged goods. He is a robot. You are basically sleeping with a robot. When you have sex with him, you are having sex with someone who is less than human. Why do that to yourself. You need to get out of this situation and get back your self-esteem and self-respect. If you need companionship and affection, you are far better off with a dog because this "man" has absolutely nothing to give except for the rental of his genitals and very possibly some pretty nasty.

This is not love. Real love does not have to hurt and be a constant struggle.

Why you are being exclusive to him and regarding him as your boyfriend when he has made it obvious that he is still sleeping with others and does not think of you as his girlfriend?
If you were really his girlfriend, he would want his family and friends to know about you. You deserve that much at least!

The ideal would probably be to just walk away now and make another clean break from him. If you could do it for 92 days before, you can do it forever. But even if you're not ready to let go of him, at the very least, start dating other guys to help you remember that there are other options out there. Maybe you could even find someone who treats you better than this guy and helps you remember how it feels to be treated with kindness and respect. If it's okay for him to date others and sleep around, it's okay for you to do it too.

I'm sorry that you are in such a painful situation.

Both you and he are making choices. Other people can criticise them but if they are working for us then why should we change because other people don't agree with them?

His choices appear to be working for him.

Your choices do not appear to be working for you.

Perhaps you should make different choices.

What amazes me about going back to someone who doesn't care for you, is that you would never do that in any other aspect of your life. If you were fired from a job, or didn't get the job at an interview, would you keep going back, and holding out hope that they would maybe hire you back? No! People say, "ok, that's over, let's see where else I can apply to work." People need money, and they know that sitting outside the building of a business that fired you doesn't pay your billss

So why do the same with love? if you are emotionally starved, why hang your hopes onto a man who has already told you, "you're not the one for me." Keeping with the analogy, your "Love Bank Account" is empty, so why are you going back to him to try to get it filled, when you know that he won't do that for you? You know staying with this man isn't right, so pick up the courage to delete him from your life, and start looking for other sources of love and validation.

This sucks. You have been given great advice here take it.

Why do you have such a low opinion of yourself that you are prepared to put up with this treatment? Why do you have so little respect for your body he is sleeping around girl for heavens sake. At the very least please make sure you are using condoms if you are having sex with him.

This relationship is harmful for you to stay in it. You love him but he doesn't love you. When you allow yourself to used like this, he loses respect for you and in turn, you chip away a little more of your confidence, your self esteem, your self respect and your pride.

Please please please get out of this now. Come on honey I have read some of your previous posts and you sound like a super, loving and caring girl. You deserve someone who will love and cherish you in the same way and not this mess.

You can do this we are here to help you but you have to help yourself too.

Obviously you are not happy in this situation - so why are you staying in it?? You have all the power to act on your own conscious realizations! Just leave and you will find better both in your feelings and in the way your partner feels for you!

18 reasons + your own admission that you do not love yourself is that not enough?

I'm so torn up again. I know things seem very black and white, but they don't feel that way.

Name one good reason for loving that guy that doesn't love or even like you?
Print those 18 points of testament and read them whenever he calls or you see him.
You will give him atention, care, your time, and you'll get nothing in return.
You are whole person and you need whole man.. In this maner you'll get 1/x where x is number of girls that are "active" in his life.
NC really doesn't work in that maneer.