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Im busy watching Southpark, so this is a short and sweet post:

Always delete your EXes off your Buddy Lists/Address Books/Etc.

This is EVEN more important if you are dying to get back together and are in 'No Contact' mode.

There is such a torture when you still have them on your AIM or YM list and hear that little ping sign on sound or see the screen flash to show they have signed on.

And you know that you wonder who are they IMing, why not you, blah, blah , blah.

Save yourself the torment !

I couldn't agree more. And while you're at it, delete your My Space and Face book accounts too!

It'll save you all kinds of frustration and torment.

I started a new rule where I have no potential, current, or previous BFs on my myspace, facebook or Virb accounts.

And I'm pleased that I never check to see if they have any or not.
I have AWESOME willpower.

Although I agree, I see it more as a psycological thing.

Think about it

You've deleted them from your friends list. Removing them, and also denying yourself access to their page.

While this is great for you, it shows you're moving on to the other party, and that you're making a statement.

Making a statement to them or for myself ?

None of my recent exes were ever on my social networking pages.
And of course they don't know that they're no longer on my AIM or YM lists.

I deleted a guy who broke my heart several months ago and still kept thinking of him all the time, but it helped me maintain No Contact.
Which worked great since he wants to get back together now.

you are such an inspiration.

I immediately removed my ex from my myspace. It's funny because he was talking to a good friend of mine a few weeks ago and mentioned to her that he was hurt that he and I aren't even friends and that I removed him from my myspace. lol

So yeah, they defiitely notice and it definitely makes a statement. However, I did it for myself. I didn't want to see his face at that time.

Now I started checking his again which is kind of setting me back, so I'm starting NC all over again.

If you don't mind me asking how long were you broken up from your ex? What were the reasons you two broke up?

My ex also told me he was still very attracted to me after we broke up. When I made contact with him recently, he told me that he didn't think I ever wanted to hear from him again. Since then it was LC, but I'm deciding to do NC again, as it has set me back in a big way.

He had had a very bad break of his own year and a half ago.
He wanted to start dating immediately, but at first I wanted to stay friends until I knew his heart had healed.
After a few months we started dating.
We got very close emotionally and mentally and had crazy attraction.
He literally freaked out on our last date that his feelings were 'scaring' him.
He was still hung up about getting hurt again by a new girl.
So he ran after others and told me about it.
I disappeared. He kept trying to contact me via casual IM/emails.
He tried to be low key about keeping tabs on me.
I shut it down and for 4-5 months put him out of my mind and dated others.
He finally contacted me and spilled the beans that he was wrong, he hurt me, he made a stupid mistake.
We are still not together because I respect my value and am also coming out of a recent bad dating experience with another guy.

It is so hard to maintain No Contact and live your own life, but it was the only way for me to keep my self respect and sanity.

Did you ever slip with the NC after he broke up with you? Did you ever tell him that you still wanted to be together?

I seem to contact my ex at least once a month. Usually very short "informative" emails..lol I guess we're "friends" now, but I don't regularly contact him I don't really have the urge to, but I do still care for him deeply.

I almost wonder if it's better to walk away after being dumped telling the ex all of the horrible things he has done and THEN go NC. To me, it seems like not only are we putting them in their place, but we're walking away with our dignity. I know it sounds childish, but walking away on "friendly" terms almost gives them the easy out and makes them feel "ok" with the break up.

This is what confuses me. I don't think I should be friends with him. I mean, he has basically told me without coming right out and saying it, that I'm not good enough for him. I can only imagine how this comes across from his perspective., it devalues us (the dumpees).

well, it's official I am completely mordified at the thought that my ex could see if I was visiting his page.

I installed a tracker on my page and had some friends visit and sure enough there they were on my stats report.

The thing is I'm using my company laptop (which is all I have right now), so my IP address shows my company's name. He knows I work there, so who else would be visiting him regularly from there?

Someone shoot me please.

In hindsight, this was a good thing. Now I am forced to never ever look at his page or his friend's pages ever again. I feel like a freakin stalker, but I'm not .I just miss the hell out of him!

I did slip but it was ONLY when he first I me or emailed me.
At one point he emailed me that he was worried something bad had happened and was worried since i disappeared.
So I slipped and let him know i was breathing. But that's all I emailed back.
"I'm still breathing" Which probably sounded smart aleck, but oh well.

I really wanted to give a piece of my mind to him before going
no contact or as I like to call it "Going Dark".
But I KNEW he would look at it as oh poor bitter hurt dumpee gave me tongue lashing and now has gone off to lick her wounds.
Nope didnt want to give him the satisfaction of KNOWING what was going on in my mind, heart or world.
Even though I loved and do love him deeply, I would not let him feel comfy and secure knowing that I was hurt by him nor that I still cared deeply.
Instead he festered and pondered and turned himself into knots trying to figure out how po lil ole me couldve moved on from someone as great as him.
That's another thing, the better a 'Catch' a Dumper appears to be, the more resolute one has to be in maintaining dignity and NC.