Best Online Bingo

Okay, so there's this girl I dated like five years ago, (not my current girlfriend), that keeps resurfacing in my life. I won't talk to her for like six months and then somehow she'll contact me out of the blue wanting to "hook up." --Nothing so strange about that. But the strange part is, we'll meet for coffee or something and she'll act like she still loves me and she misses me and she wants to start seeing me again and make a Huge deal about it, only to blow me off. This has been going on now for like 3 or 4 years! She's done this to me 4 or 5 times. What is up with her?

She originally dumped me with the excuse that she was too busy, so, since I was pretty sick of her at the time anyway, I just moved on and left her alone not thinking I'd ever see her again. Then, after several months, one of her girlfriends calls me and says she wants me to call her. Then, since I figure she's probably just wondering what I've been up to, I call her. Next thing I know, I'm sitting face to face with her and she's gushing all over me about how she just loves me and why did we ever break up and how we have to see each other again real soon. So, since I thouroghly enjoyed our "date," I'll call her and try to set up another one. At first, she'll usually be pretty easy to get a hold of and act pretty friendly, though she won't ever commit to a date. Then, little by little, she'll start avoiding me, and if I do happen to get a hold of her, she'll act very distant and make up any excuse she can to get off the phone. Eventually, I'll get sick of trying to call her and I'll give up. Then, 6 months will go by and low and behold, she'll contact me and the whole cycle will repeat again. On and on and on.

Now this behavior just baffles the hell out of me. I could see this happening once, maybe twice, but five times? What is she trying to accomplish with this?

I've tried asking her about it point blank, but she refuses to talk about it. She'll weasle out of the question by making excuses or changing the subject or trying to throw it back on me like the whole thing is my fault. I've even tried asking her friends about this and all they say is, that's just the way she is.

I just don't know what else I can do. I could just permanently blow her off, but I genuinely enjoy seeing her once in a while and it's not like this is killing me or anything. I'd just like to know what is really up with her and why is she so hot and cold. Sometimes I feel like a ping pong ball being batted around by paddles of love and hate!

Does she do this because she is just looking for reassurance that I still care about her and once she gets her fix she's happy?

Does she secretly hate me and she wants to punish me?

Does she just want what she can't have and have what she doesn't want?

Is she just trying to string me along just in case she might change her mind about me at some point down the road?

Is she bi-polar or something.

If she would just be honest with me about what she's doing, it would make all the difference. If she would just say up front that she only wants to see how I'm doing or that she cares about me, but she only wants to see me one time, that would be totally cool. But why does she insist on playing it off like she wants some big time love affair, only to act like she wants nothing to do with me. She even sent me a text one time saying she NEVER wanted to talk to me again, only to call me 3 months later.

I just don't get it and if anyone out there could help shed some light on this or have any suggestions about what I could/should do, I'd really appreciate it.

Thanks,

if so why aould you give her the timeof day to contact you? this baffles me a lil about you. (no offense).

but to answer your question, i used to do that same thing. before i met my EX. i would go out with this girl who was nice, but i never saw it going anywere, but she was fun to hang out with. we even had a sexual relationship, when we were together, but i would vanish, and then months later call her see what she was doing, and there we wouild go again until she finally got fed up with it. she said she wasnt going to do that anymore, i though she was ok with it till that.

so what she is probably doing is, when she dosent have another boy toy on her life you are it, she gets her fill, and then another man comes into the picture, abd bye bye jeff till i need you again and the record goes round and round

Thanks All,

Yes, I am back with my ex and she knows all about "the flake." It's james of a running joke between us.

And I have no idea why I give her the time of day or why I even care about her, but I do. I must be getting some kind of cheap thrill from all this. It baffles me too!!! And I have no idea if she's seeing someone else and I don't even care if she is, but I'm sure I would here about it if she did.

And Lady Bug could you be more specific?

How can I be more challenging?

I've got a girlfriend and she knows it. I make her pay by not talking to her for months at a time. How could I be more challenging than that without blowing her off completely?

I think maybe she is as you say "a true flake" and I either need to accept that or just never talk to her again. No matter what!But it's just sooo hard to resist having some fun with her, if you know what I mean.

She meets up with you tries to get you going and create interest then disappears hoping you will follow after her. Maybe she does want you but wants to see if you really want her, or if you just want the physical stuff.She gets interest raised then falls back to see where you stand and what you do Just a guess, but it seems to be an angle nobody really takes into account. It's not like the relationship is new or the break up is new.

First, how old is she? She's pretty immature. If she knows you're back together with your gf then she should just back off all together. If I was your gf, I'd be extremely annoyed with this girls behavior.

You're back together with your gf now you don't need to play these games with someone else. I say she does it for her own reasons of just feeling wanted. Let her play those games somewhere else.

so, you're not going to beleive this one. I get a text from her in the middle of the night asking me what's wrong?

I just about lost it. Is she psychic or what?

So I call her and tell her all about my current girlfriend and I say nothing is wrong.Then she goes into this whole thing about halloween and the costume she's wearing and then she tells me she wants to go out for halloween.

What should I do? Help!

sounds like she's playing the hot/cold game to get your attention. In a way, it has worked. Either she's trying to get you back, or she has no clue as to why she really wants.

Or she may just be a total loony tune.

No brainer, if you want this recent reconciliation with your ex to wrok. Scrape her off. tell her you're with someone and this flirty back and forth nonsense is hardy appropriate for you as a man involved with someone or for this woman as an individual. Tell her you'll invite her to your wedding. that should have her running for the hills.

It sounds to me like you are both getting something out of it.

If you are back with your girl friend, why expend the energy here? Perhaps you are not sure about things with your relationship now.

I may be wrong but it seems to me there is a little manipulation on both parts. Ego? I don't know, but it takes two to do this tango.
The "I make her pay" thing is concerning.

know what you mean about the psychic thing. The loonier the person, the more psychic it seems they are in cases like this.