Best Online Bingo

I've been dating this girl for two years now. We, like everyone have had issues. We've been through alot and have grown to love eachother. from me almost going to Iraq. to an abortion. to just the day-to-day petty stuff! We got together with the common mindset that YES. we both want to have a serious relationship. We're sick of going out. partying. all that stuff. I want to settle down. She is the best! She is a preschool teacher. loves kids. and wanted nothing more than oto start a family and life with me. Not to make this a HUGE message. to cut it short.

She has always wanted to move in and i've been blowing it off. I knew it was important with her. but i assumed she'd always been there. I said i wasn't ready. even though i had no issue with living wiht her. i jsut felt i'd do it on my time. Arguement after argument about it. i finally told her that "i'm not james live with you! Leave me alone with that sh**! What don't you understand! I am working nights. not cuz i want to but because i am in school and thats the way it is. You don';t liek it. there is the door!!!" I knwo it was dumb! SHe was hurt. but she said she won';t bring it up anymore. We went from seeing eachother EVERY day to seeing eachother maybe once or twice a week. I am in school to become a pilot and need my days off to fly. She is a preschool teacher and works during the day. I had to get a job at night. and it REALLY made us see VERY little of eachother! Just prior to that. my mom moved back home (i was living in her place) and now "our little place" was no more. She couldn't come over and spend the time we once did. Plus it wasn't the same nwo that my mom moved back home (after a year of having the place to myself and ourselves.). We had to try and find time together. And sex. OMG. that damn near stopped! Just before i started working at night. and things got rough. we had the arguement about living together and i said what i mentioned earlier (about shut up abot it and leave it alone). I DO want to lvie with her. i jsut thought she'd be there when i wanted to do it. I KNOW at that point she was probably thinking that the relationship wasn't moving anywhere like we had hoped. But it was. i just thought it would move when i wanted it to. That she would be there! Well. needless to say. i started working nights.we rarely saw eachother. 4-5 weeks of this goes by. the fighting gets worse. i am upset that she is going out now. and she is frustrated that i work and we never see eachother! I yell at her everytime she goes out because i figure if you can go out. you can come see me at work and wait for me to get out. Well the fighting gets worse and she tells me she needs a break! I was pised because i felt like here SHE is going out all the time. and now SHE wants a break?!?! I soon realized that maybe it wasn't jsut that. it was that she had wanted for over a year to move to the "next step". I was dragging my feet for no reason! I, in some ways feel like she started to check out of the relationship shortly after i started working at night and the fighting got bad. I didn;t notice because i assumed whatever happened. i could smooth it over. WRONG! lol Now its been going on two weeks. and when we spoke last. she said she needs me to respect that she needs space! She doesn;t know what she wants right now. that she is confused. and needs time! I CAN"T LOSE HER! I was james ask this girl to marry me! I jsut took her for granted! I told her i kknew the real reason for the break and that i'd be willing to move on to the next step with her. adn that i wanted NOTHING more than to spend my life with her. but she said for me to give her space. Time will tell.

WHAT DO I DO! I am pretty sure that if i persue it much more. it will push her away! and i don;t want that! but do i just let it go?! I believe love is a choice! i choose to love her! why does she not jump all over what i've said!? i am asking her to be with me. and that i want nothing more in this world than to be with her and spend my life with her. and she doesn't know if its "too late"?! If its true love. and she does care how can it be too late?! Must i leave it alone and hope that she will come back?!

her choice right now is space. If you don't respect that, then that end things permanently for you, because she'll see that as not respecting her wishes.

just get busy with other parts of your life now, and you'll hear from her when she's ready.

Your a marine with so much emotion running through you that your about to burst.

Get your composure first of all, she needs space because you confused her and now shes probably not sure your what she actually thought you were.

Give her some space, give yourself some space and sit and really think about how all those things went down.

And yes you must give her the space or shes going to think your crazy to some extent. You may be able to take her out to dinner somewhere that you two can talk together, but you have to open up about your feelings for her.....at the same time you must remain the strong one.

stop yelling at her and stop fighting she isn't the enemy

give her the space...accept this like its an order from a CO

come to grips with some of the mistakes you have made, and understand that she isn't going out to punish you, or to attack you, she is going out to have fun and fill a void that was created by you and her not being able to see eachother as much.

let her know how you feel, and be willing to follow up on what you say...don't just feed her crap

keep your contact with her minimal if any.I agree with the letter thing let her call you/come over/meet you

If you keep at her right now you are showing that you only care about what you want girls really don't like that and I would give you about a 0% chance of winning that battle.

Take some time here to make sure things in your own life are situated and organized. focus on school/work/the corps and if you need to relieve some stress then head to the range, gym, where ever but do constructive things with your time don't just sit around and wallow in your own self pitty and doubt

good luck take care

Seems that you have somewhat rejected her. Therefore, I believe you have to repair the situation. I would also give her space in your case. Wait for some time to show that you are giving her the space she needs and respecting her decision. If she calls or something meanwhile, just tell her that you have respected her decision. After some time (decide on the time yourself, if you were talking everyday give it 4-5 days, maybe a week), just call her and make a casual talk on how she is doing. Do not talk about the relation. But somewhat show her that you are on her side whatever happens. Than I would suggest you to share the results of that contact here for further suggestions.
That is my idea.
Good luck.

Hey everyone....

You have NO FREAKING IDEA how much your words meant to me! I know i took her for-granted. I can't change that anymore. In some ways... i feel she may have started to "check out" of the relationship a few weeks prior to the break up... when we were always fighting and i had "sealed the deal" on the whole living together thing. I know how important it was to her.

Found out something hard last night. My buddy calls me up and was like "bro... i dont wanna hurt you man... but i saw "J" at the gym with some guy. they were.... well... all over eachother to say the least..." My heart was CRUSHED at first... then i got SOOOO angry!!! I know she works out at home.. she has a home gym... GOING out to the gym with some guy was intetional! Why WHY WHY WHY?!?!?!? Its been less than two weeks?!?! Is she just filling the gap with whatever she can, including other guys and going out?!? If she does.. or even DID love me like i know she did... why doesn't she accept that i am ready (always was...) to move in and move to the next level! I jsut thought she'd always be there! I get it now... she won't always be there.... but GOD..... how can she even want the attention of another?!?

I go back and forth from feeling that way...and sayying to myself... "i have no choice but to give her space. I will only push her away otherwise. I have to understand that we ARE broken up. We ARE single... and she may very well have started to feel borken up in her mind weeks ago... whereas this is fresh to me. I must let her go.... and (though i dont believe that you let someone you love go... i MUST!) attempt to get over it. That doesnt mean i will never be with her again... but its always possible!"

Guys... now is a hard time for me I don';t know if i mentioned... but monday night.. right after i first realized that this might be a real thing.. i got hit by a car walking in a parking lot. Separated my shoulder... and got whiplash. Talk about timing!!!! THEN... i find out the next morning that a good friend.. one of my flght instructors's helicopters went down and blew up with them inside!!! I don't remember a more trying time in my life... i could REALLY use her to be with me.... But i know thats not pissoble.. So i ask that you all.. PLEASE... check in with me.. see hwo i am. I feel i'm on the verge of a mental melt down

Thanks everyone...

That is a very sweet thing to say. However anything you offer now like moving in together or marriage or whatever would seem like you were doing it because she forced ur hand rather than u want to. Let her know that you are there for her while she needs space and u will be waiting for her. What about writing a letter? explaining, therefore being able to say exactly what u are feeling without being interupted by arguements mayb u could suggest she do the same. Just a thought. Good luck x

I know what your going through mate as in a similar position. It's hard to let go and believe me i'm trying but its the best thing to do. Stick with it mate, all good things come to those who wait.

Ok first of all you may not like what I say but remember this is only MY opinion.

From what you've said..it seems as if everything was always about YOU.
When YOU wanted things to move forward and on top of it when you
told her to leave you alone about i well, that was just thoughtless, and
uncaring.
Now that the tables have turned , you have audacity to be angry at her?? How long did you expect her to wait for you to make up your mind about her??
This doesn't seem to be about HER but about YOU and your ego.
You need to truly put that big fat ego aside and respect her stance.
I personally think she has every reason to have done hat she did.

Back of WAY off. Otherwise all your doing is bullying her.
Take time to reflect on the role you played in how this all transpired...and make sincere efforts to change those aspects.

I can't promise you she'll come around but taking responsibility for YOUR actions will be a first step. Oh and a sincere apology would be a nice
gesture as well.

People make mistakes...Plain and simple..whether you're the dumper or dumpee...WE ALL make mistakes.

I believe that you need to take some time and really think about why you did not show these feelings you have now, back when you and her were together. There is a reason why you held back, why you took he for granted and why you did not appreciate her.

Sometimes as a person we get lost in our own lives and lose sight of what we have and how meaningful they are to us... Not until they are gone that we realize what a fool we have been to take their love for granted.. It's a common mistake that happens ALl to often! My advice if you havn't done so already is to have your closing statment with her..let her know you recognize your mistakes in the relationship, let her know how you feel about her and what you want with her and end it with. giving her the space she needs right now.After you've done this then you walk away plain and simple walk away, let her go and accept that you've done ALL you can to let her know EXACTLY how you feel. She's got what she needs right now and that's how YOU feel.The ball is in her court and she has to make the next step. your next step is moving on with your life and understanding that there is NOTHING you can do to change her mind She has to be the one to do that if she wants to.


Ryan..I know you're hurting and I won't add salt to the wound you have already because of your mistakes. I'm not here to crush you even more than you arleady are.. You made a mistake and now she's gone...think about your mistakes and learn from them.. Don't let others tell you it's all your fault or say how dare you have a broken heart because of your mistakes... you're only human and no one is perfect. People sometimes need a good reality check to see what they truly have or have lost and that goes for the both of you...YOU and YOUR EX!