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Why do Ex's start contacting you and acting like they are your best friend and even seem like they are missing you or might want to get back and then dissappear for a week or so without any contact?

REASSURANCE thats it.

Let me know when you figure this out. My current Boy Friend's ex-wife has started to do the exact same thing? She is the one who wanted the divorce, almost no contact for a year, and then all of a sudden she starts to send text messages. Most of them over trivial things like her buying a new car or updates on the dogs? It really bugs me and seems very odd to me?

Happened to me too. My ex ex called last Wednesday wanting to be friends, missing me and wants to keep the lines of communications open. Almost a week later nothing.
That they are looking for reassurance and sometimes to ease the guilt for having dumped us. After they are convinced that there is a chance (however slight), that they could win us back and after assuaging some of their guilt, they disappear again, sometimes for months.

I have decided that the next time an ex call, I will not be so quick to pick up the phone.

well we broke up due to her not being sure about moving to my state and me having kids it wasnt anything wrong with how much we loved each other she just kinda said she neded space to think and we just stoped talking for a ot a month .She thenhas started im me talking joking around kinda flirty has never mentioned us getting back or anything i did tell her i still missed her and she said she thought alot about me to and she would call me when she got back from her trip which she did i didnt respond to a text and she was like well i guess your busy or dont ever want to talk to me stuff . I just dont understand it i guess i should just disappear and not anwser her but i want to get back with her but this is crazy.

I honestly no longer believe there's any positive reasons why. Rid themselves of guilt, curiosity, reassurance that they can still mess with your mind and/or that you're still there. There could be lots of reasons and I'm finally at a point in my life where no reason is good enough for me anymore. I just won't buy into their games which is all I see it as.

When your ex doesn't see you for a while, they start to miss you, and second guess the reasons you guys broke up in the first place. In their mind, they play down the negatives, emphasize the positives, and get confused regarding the decision to break up.

So they contact you, and stark reality hits again. So they back off..and the cycle continues.

So when do you know its reassurance or trying to slowly make there way back to you? My ex started this past sat. night and we had small talk txt messages since then. My last txt to her was yesterday saying I had to run and wanted to end it like that.

So I guess if she doesn't contact me soon i'll know it reassurance. I'm glad I seen this topic because it just hammered in more to my brain not contact her at all.

I think they only do it just to see if they still can. If you are still waiting in the wings. I am in that situation right now. First time shame on him, anytime after that shame on me. I won't let him jerk me around like that again.

it seems which i still dont know but seems like they want to amke sure you are there , I did tell her i still missed her i know a screw up which she replied she thought about me alot alos and said she would call when she got back but when the text she send didnt come through she was like you a are buys or you dont ever want to talk to me again. And when we did text it was like we was still seeing each other i mean no love yous or any of that but just fun stuff. Now a week has passed and nothing from her ? I dont know i guess i should just forget her .