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My ex broke up with me 2 and half months ago. She says incredible things about our past and cannot seem to remember any of the good times, all she remembers are the last few months and even at that she cannot remember the good times in those months. She admitted to me that she has a hard time thinking of the good times and focuses on the bad and sucky things.
So I was wondering, do you think that reminding her of all the good things we did together would be beneficial? Its like she does not want to know. I sent her some pics to remind her of what we did for halloween last year and that we were happy and she gets angry.
I mean, what am i doing wrong with try to make her remember also the good times?

It's because she's in the detachment phase at the moment. It's too raw in her mind now. If she truly loved you and then decided she had to leave that, because she wasn't getting something from you, then she almost has to think like this to move on. Unless you were an absolute idiot with her she will remember the good times in the future. It won't be enough to bring her back, but she will remember.

Now bit of advice. She knows the good things you did for her and with her. The more you point this out the more it'll look like you're blackmailing her emotions so leave well alone.

Everybody told me to leave my ex alone too. But we couldn't do NC because we have a son together. I was really broken up about everything and when I would see her if sometime reminded me of a good time I would bring it up. She is also always focused on the negatives of our past, but after a while of me bringing those good times up she started bringing them up again. She now says she is looking forward to being friends with me again and possibly developing an even better relationship then before. Advice: Be the man you should have been and the man you want to be. If it's meant to be she will realize what she is missing. Good luck.

In the midst of the confusion, people may hold biterness near in an attempt to project lack of concern.

The truth is, all of the memories will be intact and each person will make the choice what they want to remember and learn from the experience.

"people may hold biterness near in an attempt to project lack of concern."

I totally agree with you. Also to project lack of doubt.

Jeffster, I hope the good memories come back at some point. I guess that really will depend on wether she can make better ones.

Anyhow, I appreciate your comments. Its hard to be NC because the holidays are coming and I am really scared of spending them without her.

Great advise guys. Danieleee, you would be well advised to head it.

Now some from me: You would be smart to leave it alone for a while and move on with your life. Go n/c. Give her time to forget about the bad stuff and like magic, she will start thinking about the good times, but only if you leave her alone. It's like anything, memories start to fade, especially bad ones. It's the good ones that keep coming back.

Best wishes

Its like if i go NC and make all this effort and then all of the suddent in a month i tell her something like: Is it possible that all this time apart and you do not feel any different?? then its like I blew all the NC in desperation, and im worried knowing myself i would do that.

I do agree with you, she will remember things differently with time. She also is known to have done that about other things. Like she hates something when she has it everyday, then she misses it if she doesnt have it at all. Its a long story, makes sense.
THE problem is, how long would you guys think in average takes of NC for a person to be in a phase in which they COULD start thinking differently about you. I am asking because I have had some problems lately, like anxiety crisis and also panick attacks, which i never really had before so strongly, and I really feel like calling her when that happens, i dont know if i can go thru the holiday being NC. Shouldnt everyone be nicer at xmas??
Thanks to anyone who wants to respond..

Everyone should be nicer at Christmas but there is no rule that someone should follow if they are or not. Using the holidays as a reason to get close with your ex again will only set you further back. Christmas is in a few months, lets see what happens then, k?

From my experience my ex had his first week easy. He was distracted and because of our problems he felt "free". He broke one month of no contact last week, expressed how regretful he is, and how depressed he's been. Does this mean we'll get back together? No. However he has been thinking things through and all I can do is give him time and give ME time. I'm still not sure if we do find our way back together if I would want to be back together then. All I know is that at this very moment in time, I'm focusing on myself.

You have to realize that this is no guarantee. You have to do NC because you want to better yourself. If it's meant to be both people will reconnect when the time is right. You pushing her to remember is only going to upset her. She is not just remembering the bad things but reminding herself the bad things as a coping mechanism. It's easier to heal when you're angry then when you feel as though nothing was wrong and it just "happened".

It is true, when memories fade you usually remember those that are good rather than bad. There have been so many times where I reconnected with friends and we were all like "remember when this happened" and laughed about it but couldn't remember 1 reason why we stopped being friends.