Best Online Bingo

I've been here various times before regarding my ex and his "mixed signals" and other happenings that I needed help with and now I'm here again with probably the biggest thing. My ex and I have been broken up for about 3 months, but two of the later months we were
friends with benefits.

Well a couple days ago I finally was done with everything hearing
some rumors that were iffy and such, I figured that if
we weren't ever going to go anywhere, then I don't want to be
around him or see him as often. Plain friends.

Well I brought up the topic and sat him down and told him
how I felt and left it at that. He said slowly that he was fine with being
just friends. Later that night I was just sitting there, a little dazed, because
frankly I still love him a lot and liked being closer than just friends but
it was just getting out of hand and I figured I needed to look out
for myself.

Well he layed down near me and asked me what was wrong,
and I just shruged and said I was thinking about things. He
asked if I was upset with him, and I said not really and that I was
just a little bleh. He then said that he didn't want to lose me as
a friend, pretty much out of no where.

And I don't know if it was stupid of me, but I got a little forward
about it and kind of just turned back to him and started saying
stuff about how I didn't even know if I could do that and such and
that I never wanted to lose him as a boyfriend and I had to deal with
that for the last couple months. And that I've been working hard
to improve myself like I said I would and that I've gotten very far
for what I used to be like and that I wanted to try again
for a second chance with him and that was all I had asked of him
and he didn't want to. I said that I didn't know if being just friends
was something I could do, right now or even ever. It wouldn't
feel right to me.

He gave me a look of.Surprize or taken aback or such.
He waited for a while and then asked, " If you had a choice,
when would you want to start dating again? "

And I went bugged eyed for a moment. He had never, EVER brought
up getting back together before, let alone say anything regarding the
relationship, and he brought that up. I simply replied that it was not
my choice to make, I wasn't the one who broke up with him but
if I had to say, I said I would start now, in a coulpe weeks or
even a couple months. But I said that I did not want to unless he
wanted to and was ready.

He then said that he wanted me to come over everyday this week
to see how we get along and such. I wanted to leap for joy but
this doesn't nessecarily mean that we are getting together
again.

I just wanted some opinions on the matter see what this could mean or
if there is a chance or getting together again.

Thanks for any input in advance.

I'd say it's progress, sure. You didn't push too much which is good. Be very careful here only becuase he has one foot in the door and one foot out.

Every slight might just be enough to send him running. The problem here is had he wanted to start dating you again, he would have asked i think w/out you having to lay it all out. He seemed iffy and didn't want to lose your "friendship". You must guard against he doing this only becuase he feels it's an ultimatum to having you in his life. It could be he is not ready to "detach" from you yet but also doesn't want a full on commit.

You are in a very precarious situation but i do think it is a good sign he wants to see how you get along all week and take things slowly. I wouldn't nag him or push him for anything more he's attempting. Don't let your mind run wild and you start bugging him about whether he really wants this or not.

I'd go over, keep it light and laid back, do the little things, hugging him from behind, kiss on the cheek to show affection and closeness be concerned about how his day was laugh easily, dont' overdue it on the compliments or anything but notice when he shows off for you by cooking or something nice or plans a nice evening for you both.

Most of all make it fun don't let any heaviness in to wreck it all. THe most important thing here is you are both trying, half way from both. He will appreicate you more for letting it stay light, dont' trip with wanting to "talk" about us. Show him you are the new improved version of what you said you were doing improving yourself! Let him believe this thru your gentle actions!

Yes, for the most part I'm going to keep things as easy as possible
and not to mention anything other than the usual, "How was your day?"
and "What would you like to do, wanna play some DDR?" lol

I didn't want to make things seem like an ultimatum, because I was
not intending on making him choose, nor did I expect him to say
the things he said, like even mentioning the second chance at things
completely took off guard. I am looking at this situation as a "don't
assume it's going to go one way or another, just go with the flow"
kind of thing.

I will definitely keep in mind about the bugging him about
whether he really wants this or not. I'm a little uneasy about the
whole thing but I believe that if he does want to try again, he'll
let me know.

As of hanging out yesterday, we did both keep it light. He liked to
plant lots of kisses on my cheek and forehead and such and would
lean on me when we were sitting on the couch. It was sweet for
the most part, even though when his roommate would look like he's
coming out of his room, my ex would move away for a moment.


For the most part, I am sticking to how I said I would when I
thought of this possibility of being together again: Play it cool,
and don't bring up anything from the past it will be a new start
so nothing before counts now. I think that will help in keeping
things not awkward.

That still sounds like friends with benefits to me. This is certainly not a platonic friendship. Be very careful.I think he is stringing you along. You have been friends with benefits for 2 months now presumably that means you were also hanging out together so how is one more week going to magically make a difference in his way of thinking? He is taking you for a ride keeping you hopeful making you "pass a test" so that at the end of the week, he will need another week to decide and another week etc. You will never "pass his test" because he likes things the way they are no commitment. You need to stick to your guns and walk out of his life no matter what sob story he gives you to tug at your heartstrings and keep you hopeful. This one week business and then we'll see is just a load of to keep you with him. If he is already planting kisses on you he is working on your emotions so that he will put bigger moves on you as the week goes on and before you know it you will once again be back to friends with full blown benefits.
Watch your back because he is clearly not watching yours.

I can say right now he isn't getting more than a week and there is not going to be anything more than hugs, kisses and cuddling. Period. I was sick
of the benefits and not getting my share of wants so if he pulls a fast
one like that then he must have not really wanted to keep me as a friend
if he's going to toss around my feelings. I honestly don't think it's the
case but I do understand the possibility. Thanks for the advice.

just remember to remember YOU and not jump when he says "jump". Sounds like he's calling all the shots at this point. In fact, sounds like he has always called the shots.

People like a challenge, and men need the pursuit.

Just be careful and be smart.

I am not buying any of it. If he is supposed to be testing the waters, and you are supposed to be "just friends" for now until he decides you are "worthy" of girlfriend status, then why is he rubbing you all over the place and kissing you and the two of you lying against each other. I don't know, perhaps he does that with all his female friends do all of your male friends do that with you (somehow I doubt it). He is most definitely putting the moves on you and you are buying it hook line and sinker. He is real smooth and he is playing you. How come he is not taking you out? How come you have to go to his place. can't he come to yours? Something is really really fishy. You are still in the friends with benefits mode.I wonder what would happen if the rest of the week you told him no cuddles, no kisses, if we are friends only then it is HANDS OFF until you decide you want to be a couple again. The question is, can YOU do that. As far as I am concerned, he is playing you.

Really, you can say it as you want. I asked for
advice and you gave it, okay. I understand where you're
coming from, believe I'm not worry free on this whole
shin-dig.
If that is a challenge to see what would really happen
if I did that, then fine I'll try that today.
When we became really good friends before, before
we even dated we were always really close to each other.
And we would lay on each other and be playful.
Sure, the situation may be different now, since we've
gone from good friends, to dating, to not dating etc.
But I am firm with what I'm going to do either way,
so I don't believe I'm being pulled around at all.
If we need to call it friends with benefits still, then
okay, it has become a lowered standard of, but I'll see
what happens when I say "just friends, no touchy or anything"
We'll see what happens.
I'll update tomorrow.

he is playing you i'd back off, and tell him why dont you take that week and decide what you want. tell him you dont need time to see how trhings go, and that you guys already dated. You dont need that time to rekindle the romance, you both already know how to give and take love from eachother. Im sorry hes confusing, but hang in there, dont be pushy, and kinda of back off a bit.

He is still calling all the shots you are running over there all the time he has work to do and you are watching a movie alone until he finally sits near you He keeps trying to make moves on you. Today he won't be home until 8:00 pm he says you can chill afterwards or talk on the phone. What about your life he is certainly taking care of his needs he has work to do in the evening, he has his brother's birthday after work today. What are you doing to enjoy your life this week aside from waiting around for him to call you and say come over. This whole week smacks of a countdown to his decision. I think that is terrible. I am not sure why, when you pulled away and he asked you what was wrong, you didn't tell him that you are not comfortable with the touchy feely stuff if you are just friends. It sounds to me that you are walking on eggshells and in the end, relented on the friendly hug which seemed to satisfy him. You are not really being honest with him or with yourself. I know this is not what you want to hear, but someone has to say it.