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This is just a short update from my previous post. So I have finally met her to give her stuff back. I didn't beg or asked her anything. I have noticed she has trouble looking at me in the eyes, in fact she did maybe once, she seemed sad. Only thing I told her is: Do you remember last year today we went out dancing for halloween in Las Vegas. that was fun, so it wasnt all crap right? She said "it wasnot all crap".
Gave her stuff back, not heard from her since.
It was maybe 10 minutes. So i decided to not really think too much about it.
She has been ver very firm before in telling me how bad we were all the time and how much anger she had for me.

Thats all

Now it's time to really move on and figure out what you want in life!

Don't think about "what does it mean?" anymore. If it's meant to be it will be but as of right now, you have to move on.

I think that is such a lovely way to leave it Danielee some people worry so much about the last words, they sound pretty perfect.

You can look after yourself now, and start to move on

I might have done ok back then. But now its 3 days later and I really really feel like emailing her and telling her how bad things are going for me. Is it always certain that if an ex gf hears your life is worse or not going well, you have problems etc that she will get her ego boosted by that and not want to be with you even more? that seems so wrong.

human nature i guess. it shouldn't be that way in a perfect world but it is. that's not what's important though. now it doesn't matter what she thinks. now what matters it getting yourself back out there!

i agree. you did good man!