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It has been 11 weeks since we broke up. We have not talked on the phone since then. We have exchanged a few e-mails and that's about it. The e-mails were mainly jokes or interesting news articles sent equally by the both of us. Now those have stopped.She hasn't sent me anything in three weeks other than some replies to my inviting her to hang out. The first time I asked her to meet for drinks, which was three weeks ago, she accepted but then cancelled b/c she and her roommate decided to do "detox" that week so she couldn't really eat or drink anything. She did ask for a raincheck and when I agreed and gave her a couple of options she said one day was totally out and the other day she could meet for like an hour because she had "girls night" to watch their shows, which I declined because I won't accept crumbs. I followed up two weeks later with an invite to lunch thinking that it would be a little more comfortable for her. She didn't respond right away, which I didn't know so I sent her an e-mail from my Blackberry the next morning asking if she was down for lunch that afternoon. She responded by saying she was an idiot for forgetting to respond to my original e-mail but she had been very busy with training and was seldom at her computer that week. She also said that she was going to be very busy last week preparing for the 3-Day fundraiser but asked if we could do it this week. I responded by telling her that was cool and to let me know when a good time was for her. Still not response from her to set a time. Over the weekend I sent her a couple of texts supproting her during her 3-Day. I got responses from her each evening but little did I know until it was over that they were mass text messages, not just to me. Let me remind you all that I did very very little begging and pleading during the break-up and basically went into LC right away hence only communicating via e-mail. I have seriously looked deep inside me and know what my problems were and have/am addressing them. I don't know about her.

Here are my questions:

Have all chances of a reconciliation been blown out the window or could there still remail a chance that it could happen?

Have I done to much or put her under to much pressure?

Have I not done enough?

Should it be obvious to me that she doesn't want to get together?

Why have her e-mails stopped?

Should I let her know how rude it was of her to quasi accept my invites if she had no real intention of going?

Should I e-mail her and tell her how much I miss her? I haven't done that once since the break up.

What should I do?

So many freaking questions!

I want so bad to go jercy but feel like I need to tell her how I am feeling because I haven't done it once since the break up.

Ok, I know all of the replies to come are going to be the right thing to do focus on me and go jercy. And trust me, each day is getting better. Today is an off day so I just need everyones support. I have vowed jercy and will continue it until she contacts me, which is highly doubtful.

Thanks in advance for the reassurance. I am really trying to move on. Like I said, I just need some support sometimes. I am not as strong as I thought!

Trust me she knows how you feel as much as you do. She also knows you are on the hook so she can afford to take it easy. Go jercy for a while and let her contact you.

you're driving yourself crazy. knock it off!

you should do nothing but read a good book or go out with friends or just flat out be yourself. it's out of your hands now man. all this nervous energy is best spent elsewhere.

i know it's hard, I've been there myself. but you got to do it. do it for yourself, not for the relationship or her but YOU!

Hi there,
I agree with rose. I am sorry to say that she does not seem to be making much effort into initiating contact with you; she is mainly responding (not to mention, taking her sweet time to respond) to your emails/txts/calls, etc.

I can only speculate that she is either not sweating it bc she knows you will initiate contact OR she has moved on and meeting up with you and keeping in touch with you is no longer a priority for her.

For your sake, I do wish it was the former but based on the fact that she has not actually set a date to meet up with you, I fear it may be the latter. Sorry.

In any event, I would follow rose advice of going on strict jercy: not to test her and see if she contacts you first this time BUT to really think about healing yourself and focusing on YOUR moving past this.

What do you think?

Take care of yourself and stay strong!

Ok, I know all of your replies are correct. And trust me, each day is getting better. Today is an off day so I just need edeveryones support. I have vowed jercy and will continue it until she contacts me, which is highly doubtful.

Thanks for the reassurance. I am really trying to move on. Like I said, I just need some support sometimes. I am not as strong as I thought!

No one's THAT strong, I don't think. We all have our off-days, from time to time but that's what mozunk is for, right?! It's full of our personal cheerleaders, rallying us on towards regaining our sense of emotional equilibrium!

Take care!

You're right. No one is THAT strong. And yes, all the folks on mozunk are WONDERFUL!

i know i have off days and coming here always helps. you're doing just fine.

Jercy until you can honestly say you don't care what her reaction to any of this will be. Point is once you get there it will show in the way you talk to her and handle yourself and if there's any chance of getting her back then you must get there first. It takes everyone a different amount of time. There is no magical date that it happens some its weeks and some months. But you must get there because whether you mean it or not you are putting undue pressure on your ex by making this contact, and you're driving yourself crazy in the meantime. Think about it. You get your confidence back and you don't mind how she reacts you will look and be much stronger than you are right now. You must get there or it will not work.