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On a guy I would say I'm all for long hair but if I am honest a majoirty of men look horrendous with long hair! A lot of "alternatives" for example grow their hair long and literally leave it as that. It is as a result rather scraggly, bed ended, dead, limp and rather off-putting. I don’t mean to blow my own horn when I say this but I on the other hand have got beautiful hair! That is because I take care of my hair and not just leave it to grow of its own accord or treat it like a foreign organism that is unbeknownst to me.

Very true, however I do say "I don't" because where I live, many look down on long hair on males (as if that has anything to do with WHO they are), but why would I want to begin a relationship with someone and have them subjected to such prejudices, when I can just as easily choose someone who's hair is already short? I mean it isnt like there are only two males in the universe, lol. And though my reason may sound "cavey" to some people, some will see the compassion there. Besides, gotta find a starting point somewhere to do some weeding, might as well be there. I will say this though, should someone come along and just blow me away with his charm and personality, I might consider moving elsewhere, and telling all my loved ones to get a life!! lol.

I don't think most people ever even consider that anyone actually TRIES to emphasize gender similarity in their appearance rather than differentiate it. I will however say that if that is your goal, you have a good start and might want to rethink the advice to change your appearance. I don't mean this to be insulting, quite the contrary, you seemed to be between the genders with your current look, and I take it that is what you were aiming for in the gender similarity? Not quite one, not quite the other? If that is the case, then you have succeeded, but be warned, I doubt there are many ladies who will be drawn to that...not being judgemental, just honest.


A gold star for you!

Rather however than saying "not quite one, not quite the other" I emphasize a "both male and female"... this is a frame of reference preference instead of emphasizing separation I am emphasizing togetherness in my self expression. Men and women after all are far more similar than they are different. (ohhh, I can hear the arguments starting already, GREAT!)

As for your comments about people offering opinions to get me a date, well I suppose there are layers to my intent... at some superficial level I suppose I am interested in feedback, however at a deeper level I am interested in changing those who prefer to emphasize differentiation, by encouraging them to think about WHY they are deciding/doing/being what they do/like/prefer. This is more a social justice interest than a makeover interest to be sure.

Finally I don't think your comments were judgmental in warning me that I might not find a woman here who will be attracted to me. In a probabalistic way, you may be right, but I am hopeful all the same that I will find someone attracted to me.

I must say however that your last posting your comments shattered the feeling I had from your posting recognizing the subtle but primary intent of my posing this question. When you said

but why would I want to begin a relationship with someone and have them subjected to such prejudices.


this truely destroyed any belief that I had that you might be an enlightened woman because of how it reminds me of what my racist parents use to say about why white and black people should not date. I don't know that you would say the same thing about not being with someone who has a different skin colour other than white, but my real feeling is that saying those words may only be an excuse to cover up a prejudice that even you are uncomfortable with.

I may be wrong in associating their words with yours, and my intent is not to be judgmental of you, especially because I really liked it that you really got what my posting the question was all about, so I hope you don't take offence (though you might, and that is ok too). If I am wrong, it wouldn't be the first time, and if there is a grain of truth to what I say, perhaps you can look inward and ask yourself why that is so.

had long hair when I was younger, almost to the middle of my back. I let my hair grow for over a year recently since I retired and didn't have to worry about how I looked. I kept it neat and clean, I dressed the same way, I didn't look like I was strung out or an alcoholic. I found the same thing to be true today as was the case when I was younger. I cut my hair in june and found that people were more polite, people looked at me differently, more people smiled and said hello. I was the same person, I thought the same way, had the same values but people are visual, both men and women.
srk if its that big of a problem, maybe its time to change, you may like the way you look with your hair longer but you might like your life if you did something different with it, change can be good!

I find short hair on men much more attractive, but that's just MY preference. Weather you want short or long hair is completely up to you and you shouldn't make that descision based on what others tell you to do. It's your hair. If you want it long, you'll find a woman that likes long hair

I think the point of my question is that it is not just YOUR preference. As UglyOldJohn said there are alot of people, perhaps people like you, perhaps not, who assume a negative attitude towards men with long hair, whether it is clean and neat or not. I would even hazard a guess that many people automatically associate long hair with greasy dirty hair and actually see a long haired person with greasy dirty hair even when when their hair is clean. Other posters comments here may be an example of that because my hair has always been kept clean and neat, even if earlier the style wasn't quite so flattering.

Now that I have fixed the style I wonder if I will get similar comments. I also appreciate what many have said about my hair not really being long, and yes I am thinking about having it longer.

I don't think it's anything to do with being sexist. I think it's more to do with what each individual finds sexy in a person. Personally I find men with shaved heads or short hair more sexy, but it doesn't necessarily follow that I find all men with shaved heads sexy, they have to have other sexy qualities about them. Allso, if I find a person has lots of other sexy qualities, I can sometimes resist the urge to get the trimmers on them. Looks are the first thing, and you have to like someones looks to want to get to know anything about what's inside of them. If you don't like what's inside of them, looks stand for nothing.

I like men with hair. I don't think that every man looks good with every style. I think that hair style is pretty individual.
What do not like is men that color their hair. I can not understand this at all. Men that have different colors of silver going through their hair color it to hide their well earned color. They have all the other aging signs of wrinkles, but color their hair. Men don't color their hair like women either, they make it monotone! I reallly so hate black the most! Black hair color is so fake. It almost looks like it is going to drip off the back of their hair. Then there is the fake blond that is probably called honey or some other stupid name that makes their hair all a tan color. Men coloring their hair doesn't make them look younger, in my opinion, I think it looks fake and really vain.

Of course I can't color my hair, so maybe I have some jealousy in there that I am not accepting, but I hate men coloring their hair. I like their length to be their choice and if it flatters them, that is what is important.
I have gone out with a guy who had long stringy hair that didn't look clean. Clean hair is important and hair that doesn't look stringy too.
Give me a clean smelling sharp dressed men smiling with pearly whites any day! No jeans, no shorts, a man that dresses to impress! First impressions only happen once and for some reason guys want me to have my first impression of them in shorts or jeans Yuck guess I know why few men impress me enough to go on a second dated and then they usually are players because they know women want them wah.