Welcome to the Mozunk we’re glad you're here I dated a guy like that (actually a couple) and it was so frustrating and made me unhappy and unsure of myself. I felt like I always had to be careful of how much I showed, because I didn't want to scare him off. I know how you feel. Afraid to tell him how you want more and that you want the next level for fear that he will back even further away. Unfortunately, this is what you need to do, although it's not the easiest and he will probably act like you're not 'being cool' any more or like you're too high maintenance all of the sudden. You're not, and don't let him trick you into thinking so. You deserve to be happy and to be fulfilled by your relationship, and if he's not willing to at least work on it or meet you in the middle somewhere, he's not worth it. I know that hurts to hear, but that's not love. It sounds like he's not mature enough nor is he ready for a more emotionally involved relationship. Either he has never had one and doesn't know how to do it, or he has been hurt before and doesn't want to return to that place. Unfortunately, there's nothing you can do to change that. If I were you, and in addition to telling him how you feel, I would try to start getting more involved in other things in life, your hobbies, become your own independent person again, find things that make you happy and do them. This should be the case whether he wants to go the extra mile with you or not. And actually the distance you create with these extracurricular activities will make him see you aren't trying to overwhelm him or scare him off, but that you're healthy and you have your own life, but you just want to experience more with him.
Good luck - let us know how it goes. |