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Am I crossing the line doing background checks on a suspicious date?

It's an idea I have thought about doing, due to some of the strange experiences I've had with dating. But is it ethical?
1) date who was on 3 different pysch medications.
2)date with weapon in car (nothing happened we just went to dinner and back)
3)date admitting to being fired a LOT. (once for alleged company theft)


suspicions might be if I thought the dude was married or whatever
I'd want to know if he'd been arrested
I'd want to know if there was domestic violence charges

of course , my post it's not just men I am referring to, but women whoever... BTW any of this could happen anywhere anytime. But in each of these cases, I talked to the potential date and no "inklings" came up or red flags, but all these happened while on the first date. These days the background check is set up as a subscription where you can buy 6 months or 3 months or whatever of unlimited info on anyone. But is it crossing the line?

maybe because if I want to have sex with someone, by doing a background check, I might find out someone's been in prison for murder, assault and battery, kidnapping
or is a mental case in which case I'd rethink having sex with you.

No harm no foul.

I once did a background check on someone that I met from a website and was considering getting involved with, and found out he was a convicted child molester (complete with picture on national website). Now this was something you never would have known by looking at him or talking to him. That's pretty important information. Do you think these kind of people come out and tell you these kinds of things?

The fact is, the company I work for does a background check on every potential new employee before they can get hired. It's a different world we live in today.

I'm not saying do a background check on every single person you meet, but if it's someone you're considering getting involved with, and there's any inkling of something amiss, I don't think it's going overboard, you have to protect yourself.

And Broward, you are just mean and cynical seems to me. Go harass someone else already.

yes, do it. check on them be safe and don't put yourself, your family or friends in the path of a psycho. They ARE out there !!!

be safe...
it could come down to your life.

check.
use all your resources and go slowly.

If someone is legit they will not fear you checking on them. Last thing you want to do is get mixed up with someone who is crazy, not responsible for their own actions minsdset someone with a history of violence, rape or assault.

I checked on dates and many of them had criminal convictions so they are out there !

be safe.

you only have one life.
If you can't get enough info from them to run background checks trust me.. RUN !

im With Broward - perfectly said I say

WTF has these mans personal Issues to do with you after one date? If you think somethings amiss for you - dont see him again - dont try the Inspector bullshit on someone who prob has NO Interest In ever having a relationship with you anyway! IF you decide to see them again - and IF It starts getting serious - do as you will. I still dont agree with It. But to think you have the right to Invade someones personal life like a freak Is pathetic. You call one a nutcase as hes on meds , so already you are so judgemental sounds to me you just are one of those sad types likes spying to get more dirt on ones you have no Interest In to begin with. Background checks - how about common sense and If you dont like what you see or hear and Its not for you - walk away without being a pervert spying Into their life when you wont be having any form of relationship with them anyway.

or you could do a background check on yourself and find out how/why you seem to hook up with those you feel the need to do a background check on.

I don't know. I really don't know why you would want to be involved with someone that you can't openly and honestly communicate with and/or you don't trust or think lies to you. How bout if you just ask, "Hey so are you an ex con or what?"

I don't mean to sound mean but we each create our own reality. Sure those dates had things going on that you weren't comfortable with but you chose to be with them. Perhaps you just don't see the red flags going and perhaps need to work on that? I don't know. Just don't give your power over to some dysfunctional or dangerous person. When you look only at them and not at you that's exactly what you are doing.

Or maybe you just don't trust any men or think they must have some shadows in their closets? I think the majority of men are not what you fear. If in your dating life your experience has been otherwise, then the problem is your choices.

At least someone is being honest about what dating is all about for guys - the only purpose to be with a women is to try to have sex with you once and then disappear. There is never any intention to be around very long or have any place in your life to worry about what someone has done in the past to waste our time doing a background check. That is the mentality of all of the males of the human race...so why bother worrying about it? Women are only a potential cheep thrill and then 'get out of my face' no matter who they are or what their background is. If you see someone is a creap when you have a first date, make an excuse to cut it short so you don't have to waste more than 15 minutes with the idiot and don't ever make contact with them again. Most guys do that if they see you aren't going to be an easy target - so if you see he is a creep - why can't you?

Keep a safe distance from them and don't let them know your phone number of where you live so if they have a criminal record they won't try to take your identity, skim your bank accounts, break into your house and take everything you have or cause any trouble to you or your family. If you don't give them sex on the first date, you won't have to worry about finding them any more. They will disappear off the face of the earth so you don't have to worry about what kind of background they have.

you are a creep and I am glad to see guys like you participating in the forums so the Gals are well informed.
I think in the world we live in today you have every right to protect yourself. Please don't forget all those child molesters out there are really good at what they do. How else do you think we let them get close to our children. Don't forget date rape is also a real threat as well . Would you want to get seriously involved with some crazy guy only to find out months later when he rapes, robs or possibly molests your son our daughter? If the guy you are interested in is a good guy he will be glad you checked him out first.
I would never be upset if a guy checked me out and told me as I have nothing to hide. you are a creep and I am glad to see guys like you participating in the forums so the Gals are well informed.
I think in the world we live in today you have every right to protect yourself. Please don't forget all those child molesters out there are really good at what they do. How else do you think we let them get close to our children. Don't forget date rape is also a real threat as well . Would you want to get seriously involved with some crazy guy only to find out months later when he rapes, robs or possibly molests your son our daughter? If the guy you are interested in is a good guy he will be glad you checked him out first.
I would never be upset if a guy checked me out and told me as I have nothing to hide.