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Anyone Ever Dated A TRUE Narcissist?

I'm wondering as someone who was previously married to a man with NPD (we are in the process of divorcing).

I'd, ofcourse, heard the term before. But until I did some research and found out the particulars I was just in Hell wondering what the hell was wrong with the boy.

Anyone with any experience?

What is a narcissist?

If you mean someone whom screams out their OWN name in ecstasy.Umm no.

If it's someone whom said to me, "Usually, I don't give people like you the time of day but sometimes, I make exceptions YAH!

And a narcissist is a term for someone whom is stuck on themself It's derived from the Greek myth of Narcissus whom forever gazed at his own reflection in a pool of water to the exclusion of everyone and everything else.

If he was a true narcissist you would think you would have noticed at some point before getting too involved. Don't know how something like a personality disorder could be missed. Why don't you tell us how you could miss something like that?

Sadly I was in a relationship with a guy who had NPD. for three years, I had known of him for several years before we started dating, one of the things that attracted me about him was what I thought was his creativity/individuality/inventive manner, it became apparent after a few months that these traits were manipulations and when challenged about his thoughts,plan,ideals he became enraged and was unable to cope with someone trying to change his script as he saw it.There is a similarity to Asbergers/autistic spectrum where to myself and others; those suffering from NPD are souless, only going through the motions of empathy/insight of others in the hope that their well practiced seduction will fullfil their needs.
It became obvious toward the end of our relationship; I was no longer useful in his world, these people will move from person to person/ relationship to relationship taking from them what they need. One could feel pity for him but he didn,t need that and once he realised that I had sussed him and this disorder he tried to break me in every way possible, even after six months he cannot stop trying to destroy me, not because he wants to but he needs to, this would allow his idea of being a powerful destroyer to come to life. More power to you Quadmom for marrying him and surviving it

For those other than Margo who have responded with laughter and jokes, its a personality disorder. I've got as good a sense of humor as the next chick, but this was a serious and painful experience in my life that has even affected my children.

And VERY few people see it before its too late because of its very nature. Moon-fish, had you ever dealt with one, you would know what I'm talking about. These people have been known to even be misdiagnosed by professionals and blaming the "victim" in this case, myself, is also a tactic they use to make themselves look big. I refuse to tell myself I should have seen it when there are trained professionals that miss it.

And Salamandar, he didn't declare himself one. Believe me. He still doesn't accept it. This was a therapist that declared and after a lot of research, I agreed. Its not a bit funny for someone whose lived it.

Someone with NPD will go to any lengths to keep up the illusion he is projecting. Usually its one of success, honesty, all the good personality points people usually admire.

Once the illusion begins to unravel (i.e. you find out they are lying about something) they feel cut off from there "source". A source for someone with NPD is ANYone who admires them. They HAVE to have your admiration and respect. Thats the entire point. Once the illusion is shattered, they have to find another supply, which usually means infidelity.

Usually narcissists are male, but there have been cases of female narcissist. These people will go to elaborate lengths to maintain their facade. And believe me, I know.

THANK YOU Margo! Just seen your post. What you are saying sounds like my life! He truly DID try everything in his power to break me once I became aware of what his problem was and what hedoes. He floats from one woman to the next...as if this will solve his problem and he is merely misunderstood. Whenever I asked him how something he was claiming was even possible, it suddenly became MY fault and he flew into a rage. The end result was me never getting an answer to the question. This man began to berate me and attempt to make me feel as if the problem lay with me. When he realized he couldn't convince me of this, I ceased to be worthy of him evidently. Which was good because I got a restraining order to get him out of my house.

He even tried to cut me off from my family and friends. Anyone who could show me the difference between reality and the world he had created and we were both living in. It took me 4 yrs to get out of it, so I truly do know what you are saying and don't give me too much credit for getting out of the situation. It took time to even begin to understand that there was truly something mental going on with him.
His life is a cycle of nothing but big plans and no action. Big dreams and big talk. Thats it.

I had a short term with one a couple of years ago. I count it as a lucky escape now.

Your last sentence sums it up. These people have lots of short relationships and never stay in one for very long. They blame the world for all their woes.

yet, it is TRUE! They don't last in their relationships because of this reason.
I was seeing someone who I now believe has NPD. Always knew there was something not right about him and the way he conducted himself emotionally. But didn't know what it was. His excuse was "my last relationship screwed me up a lot"...because it was with a girl with BPD (borderline PD). And in fact, these 2 disorders are on the same continuum. And they do attract to each other. So I've been reading about NPD and it describes him very well. But this is the hardest personality disorder to treat because they are so sure they are special and elite that they do not take criticism but always blame others. And in fact, psychiatrists are taught not to approach them with criticism, but flattery, which is what they respond to...but if not done properly, can reinforce the narcissicism. Catch 22, very hard to treat.

My mother was married to one for 35 years. My father.

His personality disorder really just started to manifest itself in a very real way the last few years. She's had an ordeal of a time, and he doesn't even know what the problem is--he assumes it's her and her 'hormones'.

I haven't had to experience much of the ensuing drama, as I life half-way across the country. But, while I love my father for who he is, I have lost all respect for the way he's treated my mother.

She's found a lot of help through some NPD support websites. It's a hard thing to find people who 'buy into' the concept, and don't just dismiss it out of hand as being sheer selfishness. I am one of the latter, but am working at being more supportive of her position as an armchair psychiatrist--because he's certainly NOT the same man he was 10 years ago, and there's got to be some very real chemical reason for that.

Good luck--you're going to need it. If you want some useful links, drop me a message and I'll get them for you.