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In school, we were taught that there is no such thing as a stupid question. That might hold true when figuring out the intricacies of algebra or history, but in a relationship, there are many, many stupid questions that can make your life miserable if asked. They may seem like innocuous, innocent queries to you, but in the complex mind of a female, these questions get twisted and analyzed until they are interpreted as mean-spirited missives slathered in deeper meaning and innuendo.

You could fill your relationship with awkward silence and avoid asking any questions at all, but this invites a whole slew of other problems. Instead, we’ve assembled a list of the 10 most notoriously unacceptable questions to ask your significant other. Consider it a guide through a potentially deadly minefield, where the peril isn’t to life or limb, but to your happiness and sex life. Tread lightly.